Page 111 of Pretend for Me

I take in a shallow breath as tears gather behind my eyes, knowing I’m going to have to give the news to my mother. My sweet, kind, gentle soul of a mother who will die with a broken heart. Just like I will one day.

I struggle to stand here with my hand in Piper’s, her soft touch a reminder of just one more thing I’m losing.

“I underst?—”

“What I mean, Dev, is I can’t do this—not the wedding, or the living together, or the sharing you with my cat, or the breeding of our rabbits that potentially leads to us breeding too, and making adorable Dev and Piper babies—if I don’t get something off my chest.”

Cue the record scratch.

Wait, huh?

I blink, wondering if she’s said what I think she’s said, or if I’ve somehow projected my hopes on her and dreamt it all.

“I . . . Wait . . . What?” I stammer, hoping this isn’t somesort of brain malfunction. My heart, which was taking a nosedive into the pits of my stomach, is now lodged inside my throat. “I don’t . . . I don’t think I heard you properly.”

Her hands fall on my chest as she erases the distance between us. “I fucking love you, Dev Menon. Wholly. Truly. One hundred percent. I want to live out the rest of my life with you, have great sex with you, and be your sugar-momma, because it’s clear you need one.”

I stare dumbfounded at her, unable to form a response.

She loves me?

Piper cups my jaw, her golden-flecked green eyes gazing into mine. “I’m sorry I took off like that last week and that I gave you a heart attack today. Vajayjay was being a real bitch about getting into her carrier, but then I gave her one of your dirty socks and she seemed to get that we were coming to marry you.” She waves a hand dismissively. “I have a few of your unmatched socks in our Socks Without Partners donation bin, but there was one that was dirty and?—”

“Piper,” I say, snapping her out of her rambling. The woman would literally keep going and we would miss our entire wedding.

“Anyway.” She smiles. “What I was trying to say is, I’m sorry for the way I’ve been the past week. I just had to realize a few things.”

As much as I want to lay my hands on her hips and pull her to me, I don’t. Perhaps because I still don’t believe she’s here or that this is real.

“What did you have to realize?”

“That taking space and time away from you really meant nothing when all I thought about was you every waking moment. That loving you was no longer a rule I couldn’t break or an option I could live without, because I couldn’t see my world without you right next to me.”

She swallows. “I didn’t believe I deserved your love, Dev. Or any real love, for that matter. I’ve seen so many failed relationships that I’d convinced myself love was just a shallow word meant to be broken one day. But what I didn’t focus on was the incredible and enduring love around me. The way your dad cherishes every moment with your mom, the way Shay became Rowan’s entire world, the way my mother found new long-lasting love. I was so tangled in my web of fear, I wasn’t ready to at the time.”

She takes a shaky breath. “It took being away from you to realize those things and to recognize how deeply I’d fallen for you. I realized I had that rare, precious love all along, but instead of embracing it and pushing away my fears, I did the opposite.”

Her eyes, brimming with tears, meet mine with raw vulnerability, her soul laid bare. “What I realized this week, without your touch, your words, and that dimple I’m so in love with, was that the risk of loving you pales in comparison to the misery of living without you. There’s nothing I want more than to be your wife, to spend the rest of my life loving you. You’re my home, my safe place, my world, Dev Menon. I don’t know if I deserve your forgiveness, but I’ll do anything to earn it.”

My jaw clenches as I try to keep my emotions at bay.

She’s here. And she’s mine.

My hands work on their own accord to bring her closer to me. “Baby, there’s no forgiveness to be given. You are the most precious thing in my life. Nothing is worth as much as one moment with you. You’ve taught me to laugh, to take life a little less seriously, and to live in complete chaos.”

“Admit it, you’ve loved having your cabinets and bookshelves rearranged.”

“Putting my shaving tools in the vegetable crisper went a little too far.”

“It was because I’m still upset you haven’t come into the salon for another haircut.”

“I promise to, now that my face is all over the walls and commercials for it. Any chance you can lay off the sleeping pills that day?”

She pinches my side. “It was to stop an oncoming migraine, but yes, I’ll be extra careful with your billion-dollar hair this time, Mr. Luther.”

I smile, resting my forehead against hers. “I was fucking miserable without you, baby.”

“Big Daddy Hudson told me you were bathing in alcohol.”

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