Page 70 of Sunday Morning

Heather didn’t move.

And honestly, I was still in shock.

“Say something. I’m a terrible person, right? I’m going to Hell. Are you mad? Will Matt hate me? My parents will disown me. Just say it.”

“Uh …” Heather slowly shook her head. “I don’t know what to say. I’m not mad. You’re not a terrible person. Youcouldgo to Hell. We’ll have to ask your dad. But Matt will hate you. Your parents won’t disown you, but they might make you feel like a failure and a complete disgrace to them and God.”

I wrung my hands together, face scrunched. “I’m not telling anyone. Not now. Maybe not ever.”

Heather laughed. “So you’re going to marry Matt and mess around with Isaac on the side.”

“I’m not marrying Matt. I just need to get through the summer, and then we’ll go our separate ways. Wesley and Violet can’t get mad at my family if we mutually drift apart, right?”

Heather pressed her lips together and shook her head a half dozen times. “No. I mean, I don’t know. Oh my gosh, why did you let it go that far? It’shis brother! He got you off!”

I wrinkled my nose and bit my thumbnail. “I did it to myself.”

Heather covered her mouth and snickered. “You’re not that naive, are you?”

I didn’t want to relinquish a smile, but I couldn’t help it. “I’m not naive. I’m …”

“In denial?”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine. I’m a little in denial, like on theedge of it, where accountability is optional. But Heather”—I pressed my lips together and took a moment—“I like him. I like how I feel when I’m with him. Music owns my heart. And when we play music in the barn, I feel like he’s starting to own a little piece of my heart, too.”

Heather’s eyebrows jumped up her head. “You love him?”

“No, I’m not saying that.” I wasn’t sure what I was trying to say because Isaac made me feel something new and unfamiliar, something undefinable. “I’m just saying I like who I get to be when I’m with him.”

She squinted. “And who is that?”

I lifted a shoulder. “Myself.”

Something akin to realization stole her face. “This is awesome. Disastrous but awesome. Let’s go.” Heather giggled, grabbing my wrist and pulling me toward the back of the church. “Maybe we can sneak in and get our robes, and your dad will think we’ve been here all along.”

“Fingers crossed,” I said, opening the door.

We were in luck, my dad wasn’t in his office, and several other choir members were retrieving their robes from the closet.

“Is Matt still sick?” Heather whispered as we took our seats in the choir.

I glanced at Matt’s parents and Isaac while leaning into Heather. “Apparently. I called to check on him last night, and he was still pretty miserable. I think it’s a stomach bug, not food poisoning, because I’m fine, and we ate the same thing.”

Dad welcomed everyone and said a prayer, and then the choir led the congregation in several hymns. For the next forty-five minutes, I tuned out my dad’s sermonand sneaked peeks at Isaac, who was looking at me the whole time with a mischievous grin.

“Those are some serious bedroom eyes,” Heather whispered, nudging my leg.

I bit my lip and bowed my head, pretending to follow along in my Bible.

“We’re in Leviticus, not Deuteronomy,” Heather mumbled under her breath.

I flipped to Leviticus, barely registering my dad preaching about apologizing for not being enough and the importance of repentance. In hindsight, I probably should have listened better.

After church, I exited with my parents and sisters, and everyone scattered in the churchyard to chat, make afternoon plans, and catch up from the week.

I stayed nestled to my mom’s side like the perfect duckling so Isaac didn’t approach me. But that didn’t stop his parents from finding us, which meant he was with them.

“Matthew is sick today. I’m sure Sarah mentioned it,” Vi said.

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