Page 110 of A Love Most Fatal

“Oh, and that would be an issue for you?”

Cillian tilts his head at a 45 degree angle, and leans closer. I smell his cologne and aftershave, heady and wrong. My nose burns. His hand reaches slowly for my face, and I want to bite it. He pushes strands of hair that had fallen into my eyes behind my ear and then slides an index finger down my jaw, then down my neck to where he touches the ruby necklace that still hangs above my breasts.

I spit on him, right in the face, and he doesn’t move, just smiles at me before removing a hankie from his chest pocket and wiping his face clean. I regret that I didn’t get more in his eye.

“Nessie,” he chides, and I almost spit again.

“Don’t call me that.” Any version of Ness is reserved for family and dear friends, not fucking maniacs who force themselves on me and then knock me out for not agreeing to marry them.

“I’ll call you whatever I like, bride.”

I still, looking down with new eyes at the white gown I’m wearing.

“I won’t.”

“But you will,” Cillian says.

“They’ll come for me. You think Mary will let you live after hearing what you did to me?”

Cillian laughs. “She won’t hear. You’re not going to tell her.”

It’s my turn for my eyes to search his face, trying to determine just what he’s getting at. “We’re going to elope,” he says. “Beautiful ceremony, an intimate one, just the two of us, the priest, and God. When we come back, they’ll be surprised, but so happy for us.”

“I wouldn’t marry you.”

“You wouldn’t marry your friend? The one everyone trusts, the brother of your sister’s husband, who’s been asking for months? Please. You’ll be able to sell it.”

“I refuse.”

“Do you think you are better than me, Vanessa? You were about to marry a stranger to get what you want from him. You were about to tie an innocent man to a woman who could never love him.”

I do think I am better than him, and I will not let him make me feel bad for asking an adult man to enter a consensualcontract that would be mutually beneficial to both of us. He can’t make me feel guilty for sacrificing this.

“There’s nothing scrappy or self-made about you. You’re a selfish brat, and a bitch,” Cillian spits.

“I am better than you,” I say. “I can beat you in a fight and your business would be in shambles if Sean hadn’t married Willa. Without us, you’re just a fucking gangster.”

A muscle ticks in Cillian’s neck.

“There is one way you’re weak, dove.”

The pet name falls on my ears like acid.

“You care too deeply,” he says, like it’s simple math. “You love too much. You keep too many people close to you and it makes you weak.”

“Family is what this is built on,” I say, I’d yell if my throat didn’t burn so bad. “It’s what everything is built on.”

“No. You know better than most that loyalty must be paired with fear to last.Fearis what this is all built on. And you open yourself up to more fear than anyone should. It’s why you are not fit to lead, why you were nevermeantto.”

A carousel of faces flash through my mind; my sisters, my mother, Angel and Artie, Leo,Nate, Nate, Nate. How could I care for any of them less? My father was the strongest man I’ve known and he loved dearly, with everything. His love was his reason.

“This is what’s going to happen.” Cillian stands behind me and pulls my hair behind my shoulders, lightly running his fingers through the tangles. “You and I are going to get married. Lovely little ceremony, you’ll be sorry you couldn’t invite your family, but you were just feeling so trapped, and I offered, and you couldn’t say no. You’ll say that you’ve secretly been wanting me for years, you just didn’t want to tell anyone because you thought it might be weird, brother-in-law and all. You’ll say whatever you need to say to convince them.”

“They’ll never believe me.”

Cillian fists the hair he was playing with and tugs, pulling my head back until I’m looking up at him. I try to suppress a whimper from the pain in my already sore neck.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know how to act. You were prepared to convince a house full of guests that your engagement was a good thing. To aRussianwhose family has only ever caused yours pain. I’ve known you for years, practically family, business partners. It’ll be an easier sell.”

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