What that scum of the earth had earned was a one-way ticket to hell, and nothing less.
Instead, he got to spend the rest of his life being taken care of like a baby while myownwas stuck behind bars.
Not wanting to scare him, I lowered myself down onto the floor as close as I could get. “Honey...”
His legs were drawn up to his chest, arms curled tightly around his knees, while his shoulders shook from his sobs. It was brutal to watch, and even worse to think that he believed I saw him any differently than before because of it.
I would never. Icouldnever.
“Go...” he finally choked out.
I shook my head, reaching over to breech the distance between us. “Ayen?—”
He slapped my hand away the second it touched him. “Go!”
Stunned, I stared at him.
“Leave,” he swallowed. “Or I’ll scream.”
That aching sharp pain stabbed me in the chest again. Robotically, I climbed to my feet, still staring down at him. Hoping that he’d change his mind. But all he did was simply bury his face back into his knees and hold himself tighter.
The air in my lungs was sucked out breath by breath as I crossed the distance between him and the front door.
Regret was a knife that carved my heart out of my chest when I opened the door and snuck out into the morning sun, leaving it behind.
CHAPTER 24
Ayen
I hadno idea how long I stayed curled up on the floor for.
Minutes?
Hours?
It was hard to tell. I’d eventually exhausted myself to the point of lying down on the dusty and worn hardwood floor, with my cheek pressed against it. My body had shut down the second I closed my eyes, wanting to forget any of this ever happened.
A loud call was what brought me back, the sound of Barlow roll calling everyone.
I contemplated staying there curled up in a ball and getting written up for it.
How bad would my punishment be compared to the deep betrayal I felt?
In the grand scheme of things, everything else simply paled in comparison.
Eventually, though, I forced myself up and wandered outside to the line-up, barely functioning.
“Gonzalez, why the fuck’re you still in your pjs?” Stinner said.
My gaze drifted up to where he loomed over me, his shadow temporarily blocking out the sun burning my eyes. No words came out of my mouth—not even a single thought. My mind was blank, my body running on simply muscle memory alone.
“Get the fuck back inside and get dressed. Jesus Christ,” he spat.
Turning back around, I headed into my cabin again without any kind of arguing. Getting myself together was a blur, as was the rest of our head count and heading into the mess hall for breakfast before we got started for the day.
That sticker was branded into my skin—Jackson’s handsome face grainy and barely decipherable on the horrible laser scanner that had been used to print up a visitor pass for him.
The worst part was that if I’d never found it, he never would’ve told me.