Page 68 of Jackson

I wanted to touch him—needed to. I had to make sure all of this was real and not a trick of my mind.

He caught my wrist easily, gently kissing each of my knuckles before placing my hand back down onto the bed next to me.

“Jax,” I mumbled, feeling miserable all over again.

He planted himself down onto the bed by my hip, the mattress slightly dipping while he was being careful to keep from sitting on any of the wires that were hooked up to the other sets of machines on my other side. Those monitors displayed all sorts of confusing looking graphs, too intense for my muddled mind to make any sense of.

“I’m right here, Ayen. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise...” More tears were collecting along my lash line.

“Oh, honey. Of course I do.” He dragged the pad of his thumb under my eyes again. “I think the drugs are making you a little weepy.”

Probably.

Or the fact that I almost died trying to save an idiot.

What would’ve happened if Jackson never gave me that radio?

Or if he never heard my whistle?

I’m certain that I’d be a piece of fried chicken by now, never having gotten to tell him that I regretted ever pushing him away, or that I?—

My heart thumped.

That I loved him.

“The doctors should be in soon to check on you,” he was saying, completely oblivious to my world-shattering realization. “Once they give you the all clear, then we can sit you up and get some food in you. It’s been a few days, so I’m sure you’re starving.”

A few days?

Jesus, now I really felt bad for dragging him into my mess. Getting involved with me like this was probably never on Jackson’s agenda. We’d started out by giving in to our mutually shared spark of passion, and now he was stuck tending to me at my bedside in a damn hospital.

Why wasn’t he back at the program?

Why was he torturing himself by sitting with me?

Was it because I had no one else to stay with me?

“Ayen, stop.”

My gaze snapped to him, catching him shaking his head at me.

“Whatever you’re thinking. Stop it. I’m here because I want to be. You have no idea how worried I was about you.”

How did he...?

I couldn’t bethattransparent, right?

“Seeing you down there like that.” His Adam’s apple bobbed visibly. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

My chest tightened when his voice cracked and a thin, wet sheen grew over his eyes.

How could he cry for me when I absolutely didn’t deserve it?

Him being upset over my well-being was the last thing he needed to be dealing with. Getting hurt while in his program was probably going to cost him so much more than just me lying in this damn hospital bed. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if it resulted in the program getting shut down because of my stupidity in not dragging Barker back to the group when I should’ve.

“You must hate me,” I mumbled.

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