Page 80 of The Movie Star and the Spy

He was already there.

His visage was clear through the window of the small café, the same profile seen in countless websites, articles and social media sites through the decades. Memories resurfaced, the recent Internet searches, the magazines she’d leafed through as a teen, the newspapers she’d peeked at as a child on the grocery checkout line, while her mother carefully handed coupons to the cashier. He was a movie poster come to life, with the same rugged handsomeness, formidable power and imposing aura, even a few years after his prime. Thick blond hair and a well-built body still drew attention, and the confidence of a man who amassed millions of fans. Yet his eyes, startlingly green, comprised his most striking feature.

They were identical to hers.

He wielded a charisma that defined his runaway success. She’d seen his image on the Internet so many times, yet not once in real life, at least that she could recall. Endless emotion rose, far too many to characterize or even define. Then… he saw her.

His expression lit, not slightly, but with joy so poignant it seemed impossible to fake, even from one of the world’s leading actors. He stood so quick the chair rattled to the floor with a crash, but he paid it no attention as he strode to the door and pushed it open, a welcome – no, an invitation. She sucked in a deep breath and entered.

“Dad.” The word came without conscious thought, without planning. The word she never thought she’d utter.

If possible, even more happiness shone in his gleaming eyes. “Do you know what it means to have you call me that, after all these years?”

Like a swimmer about to plunge over the waterfall’s edge, she quickly backtracked. “I’m sorry, it just came out. I didn’t mean… I’m not ready, Mr. Sanders.” She shook her head so quickly it pained her neck.

“I understand.” He said it quickly, his gaze warm and understanding. “Charles, then?”

“Charles is fine,” Cheyenne whispered gratefully. He stood perfectly still, beaming like a child who’d just unwrapped a shiny new ten-speed on their birthday. The strangest urge to run into his arms beckoned, as she’d longed to do a thousand times as a little girl, but she held back. Finally, she forced a few steps forward and awkwardly stuck out her hand.

He grasped it with both of his. “Thank you so much for coming. I realize how difficult this is.”

She nodded curtly, forced herself to meet his gaze. “Years ago, I would’ve given anything for this moment.”

“I know.” The words were heavy with sorrow and regret. “I waited far too long, and for that I am sorrier than I can ever express. I’m hoping you’ll let me make it up to you in some small way.”

Any and all responses caught in her throat. Instead she simply nodded and took the seat he offered, oddly bereft when he removed his hands. Two already filled mugs sat on the table, with a carafe of coffee between them. An assortment of muffins and sweet cheese pastries filled generous plates, garnished with fresh grapes and berries.

“I… um… I…” When had she lost the ability to speak? She gripped the mug so hard, her hands burned, yet she couldn’t move. She had dreamed of this meeting so many times, yet all the words disappeared from the world.

“I should start.” He reached for her, stopped and instead gripped his own coffee. “I won’t insult you with excuses. There’s no justification for a father to leave his daughter, nothing thatcould ever make up for years of missed time. I was selfish and foolish, a kid who didn’t know what to do with his sudden fame, and I made the worst decision of my life. I thought I had it all. I never realized I was giving it all away.”

The mug crackled in her hand, and she loosened her grip. “You may have been a kid when you left, but what about five years later? Ten years? Fifteen?”

“I’m so sorry.” Charles tapped his fingers in a repetitive pattern. “I planned to fix it so many times. I just didn’t know how, and suddenly half a lifetime had passed. I squandered so many years, and then it was too late. I was certain you’d reject me.”

“You rejected me!” Cheyenne hissed. “You’re the one who walked away. I would’ve welcomed you back for so many years, forgiven you if you’d only returned. All I wanted was a… a…”Breathe.“All I wanted was a dad.”

“I realize that now.” Charles ducked his head. “Things change when you get to my age, people change. You see things about yourself, things you don’t like. Decisions you’d give anything to undo. I took too long, but there’s no going back. All I can do is promise Ihavechanged. I’ve tried to show you by not giving up when you pushed me away these past months. I’ll take whatever you can give me. If it’s a cup of coffee once a year, I’ll be over the moon. If you have room in that hectic life of yours, which you’ve dedicated to helping others, then I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give. If you let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life proving I can be the father you deserve.”

“And then what?” she whispered as the world turned blurry with liquid pain. “Once you prove you’re a great father, you’ll disappear again?”

“No.” His complexion paled, as he took a shuddering breath. Gone was the famous movie star, the poised thespian who played hero on millions of screens. He was simply a man, withdecades of regret carving the grooves of his face. “You may not be a little girl anymore, but I realize how leaving hurt you then, just as leaving again would hurt you now, even more in some ways. I can make a dozen promises, swear on everything I own, but you won’t believe it until I show you. That’s all I’m asking for – the chance to prove it.”

That’s all?It was asking for the moon and stars and everything in between. Decades of hurt pierced her chest like a knife through her lungs. “Why should I give you the chance to hurt me again?”

“Because I’m hoping deep down you still want a father. Not the father I was, but the father I could be.” He reached out, but stopped short of her fingers. She would have to take that step. “Please, Cheyenne.”

Damn it, but he was right. “You don’t know what you’re asking,” she whispered. “You don’t realize how much your leaving hurt me. Even now, it sabotages my relationships.”

“Your relationship with Julian Starcroft?”

Cheyenne gasped. “How did you…”

He held up his hand. “Don’t worry, your cover is safe. You must know I’m friends with Julian. He confided about his new and interesting relationship, although with no names. But his description of you and your strange behavior got me thinking, and I wondered if it could be some sort of coincidence. Of course, the news segment about Julian Starcroft and his new assistant clinched it.”

Cheyenne gritted her teeth.

“Don’t worry. He doesn’t know the truth, and I wouldn’t jeopardize whatever mission you’re on by telling him. But, Cheyenne, Julian is nothing like me. You can’t compare him to the man I was.”

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