Page 34 of Reaching Roland

He nodded. “Understandable.” Then he leaned forward, the eyes that were a perfect match to mine going hard. “But, Dad. You’re a good guy. There’s not a man in this world I admire or trust more than you, but you haven’t done this for a while, so hear me when I say that you better not show a hint of interest to Kenny until you do know. It’s not fair to him. Make sure that you’re sure of what you're doing before you take this any further. Right now, he reminds everyone who says a word about you two together that you’re straight. I think he’s resigned himself to having a broken heart someday, which sucks, but it’s a choice he made. Don’t lead him on and then decide that you can’t get over Mom. That’s not fair to him.”

Ha. And there it was, why everyone had considered him the fill-in Daddy for so many of the boys in Toby’s crew before they had Daddies of their own. He was protective and fierce, and I was so damn proud he was my son. “What did I used to say to you about dating?”

He smirked. “Don’t be a dick.”

I smiled back. “Guess I’ll be taking my own advice.” My jumbled thoughts had kept me from sleeping well, and I needed to rest and think. It wasn’t just whether I was ready to move on to consider, but now, if Cameron was right, then Kenny already cared about me. The last thing I’d ever want to do was hurt him.

I thought over all of the harder decisions I’d ever made in my life, and Rhonda had been by my side. “Hey, Cameron. I’m thinking about calling out of work. I don’t suppose you have time to go to your mom’s graveside with me?”

“I’ll make time,” he said immediately.

“Should we go wake up Indie and see if he wants to go, too? We could stop and put flowers on Nadine’s tombstone, too, and then go to breakfast?”

He smiled softly. “I honestly can’t think of a better way to spend the morning.”

“Me, neither.” And maybe, just maybe, while we were there visiting my love, she would send me some answers.

Chapter Twelve

ROLAND

I’d seen Kenny a couple of times since the heart-to-heart with Cameron. Everything had been normal between us, but I paid more attention to how Kenny interacted with me compared to everyone else. One thing I wouldn't do—no matter what—now that Cameron had made me aware, was lead him on. Although, I didn’t think I was. It wasn't like Rhonda herself had shown up in spirit form and given me the answers I sought when I sat at her graveside, but there had been a difference.

Instead of leaving sad and listless for the rest of the day, I’d felt peaceful. Cameron, Indie, and I had gone on to have a nice breakfast at a nearby diner before going our separate ways. I’d headed toward Miss Georgina's neighborhood, visiting with her for a while, then on to help out some of the seniors on her list. Keeping busy had been just what I needed while I mulled over all the new feelings that Kenny had invoked.

If I hadn't been sure how much I valued my time with him, today solidified how I craved his company. There was no reason for me to head down the shore to Sunrise Park to watch fireworks. It wasn’t like Kenny actually needed me to take him. He had familyand friends in Little Beach Bay who he could’ve gone to spend the night with and watched fireworks with them. Instead, here I was, ready to fight traffic and crowds to keep him with me and a smile on his face

My knuckles barely touched the door when it swung open to Kenny, grinning maniacally. I was so used to seeing his meticulously put-together outfits that I was a little startled by the orange board shorts with white flowers and simple white tank top, with a pair of brown flip-flops on his feet. He pulled a green lollipop out of his mouth with a plop. “Ready, Daddy?”

“Ready as I'll ever be,” I said, trying to insert some enthusiasm into my voice.

Kenny cackled. “I'm not buying it, but I promise we're going to have a great evening.” He leaned down and picked up a large orange and white striped beach bag, which matched the board shorts. Why wasn’t I surprised? Immediately, I grabbed it from him and swung it over my shoulder. “I’ll carry this for you.”

Kenny pulled a pair of brown, large-framed sunglasses out of his pocket and put them on. “You're such a sweetie, Daddy. Now let's go.” He grabbed my hand and yanked me down the stairs. As soon as we got to the bottom, he took off at a half-gallop skip through the yard.

“Shortcake, slow down. While I'm happy to see that you're wearing appropriate shoes for the boardwalk, I don't want one of them to flip up by the toe and trip you.”

He didn't quit moving toward the SUV, but he slowed down. As I opened the passenger door for him, I said, “I brought a few bottles of water and baggies of cut-up fruits and vegetables for the ride down.”

Kenny snorted. “I know we’ll get caught in traffic, Daddy, but it's not going to take us hours to get there. I’m pretty sure I didn’t need a snack.”

“No, it won't, but I also know you have big plans for stuffing your face with all kinds of crappy boardwalk food, so I wanted to get something nutritious in you first, shortcake.”

His smile softened. “Thank you.”

I shut the door, ran around the front of the SUV, and hopped in, already feeling so light and carefree. What was it about him that instantly altered my whole outlook on life?

“Daddy, what are you listening to?” he asked as a guitar and cello instrumental I’d had on reconnected and started playing again.

“Something to soothe my frazzled nerves.”

He shook his head. “You’re ridiculous. We're going to have so much fun today. We can listen to this on the way home. Right now, we need to pump it up.” He picked up my phone from the cubby in the center console and asked, “What's your password?”

I gave it to him, and before I knew it, techno-dance music flooded the interior of my vehicle. “That's more like it,” he said, cranking up the volume, then pumping his arms in the air while wiggling around in his seat. So ridiculously cute.

“You're killing me, youngster. My ears will be bleeding by the time we get there.”

“Fine.” He didn't turn it off, but he lowered the volume so we could at least converse on the drive. He entertained me with stories about his clients and co-workers, and I listened as he chatted on and on, soaking in the sound of his voice, my heart-warming each time he giggled at his own story. Jesus, how had Imissed how he affected me? How much easier it was to breathe when I was with him. How much more I enjoyed life

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