Page 44 of Reaching Roland

I was curious about his dad’s barbershop, well, his family in general, but our food arrived. We were both stuffed by the time we finished our meal, which wasn't surprising since we’d cleaned our plates, even though we could’ve easily split one meal and been satisfied. I ordered decaf coffee, and Kenny ordered a cup of tea, and we agreed on a slice of cheesecake with raspberry sauce to split. It felt like as good a time as any to discuss what we were doing here. “I think we should talk, shortcake.”

“Talk about what?” he asked innocently, but he wasn't fooling me. There were enough times during our meal that he mentioned some future event he’d like to go to or referred to my relationship with Rhonda and cut himself off because he didn’t know what our new playbook looked like. I didn’t either, but I wanted us to figure it out together. I also knew, with his dismal dating history, he was a little gun-shy and a whole lot scared.

“How about I make this easier on you?”

“Daddy, I really don't know what you're talking about. You said you wanted to take me on a date, I believed you, and here we are.”

He wouldn’t even look at me, and I knew I was right to address this tonight instead of letting it linger. “You're not at all curious why a straight man who'd been professing to you that he'd had his one true love and would never have another relationship would ask you out? Not even a little bit?”

He gazed at the small flower arrangement in the middle of the table, and I waited him out. If he didn't want to discuss this in the restaurant, that was fine with me, but I also knew he wouldn't have any peace until we did.

“I guess I am a little interested, but I'm also scared to death of what you might say.”

My poor Kenny. He probably thought I wanted to keep this between us while I explored it or something equally annoying that one of his partners had done to him in the past. “What do you mean, shortcake?”

Looking uncertain, he met my gaze. “I'm worried that you're going to tell me that this is casual.” He shook his head. “And don't worry, I get it. Rhonda was?—”

I cut him off. “Rhonda was my first love, and I’ll always love her.”

Now he started nodding like a bobble-head. “Yeah, yeah. I get it.”

Reaching out, I lay my arm out across the table and opened my hand to him. After a bit of hesitation, he placed his hand in mine, and I squeezed our palms together. “Listen to me. I realized something recently.”

He stared down at our clasped hands. “What?”

“Cameron was my only child, as you know. But I've told you how much Indie always meant to me, and how I tried to help out with him while he was growing up because his sperm donor didn't help his mom, Nadine, out hardly at all.”

He nodded.

“Having Indie back into my life has been such a blessing, and I consider him my child as much as I do Cameron.”

“I know that. He knows that,” he said earnestly.

Then we both laughed since Indie declared it loud and proud, everywhere he went, that I was his chosen parent. His Rolly. “Iguess because Rhonda and I never had another child, I never realized how much room there really is here.” I gently tapped on my chest over my heart.

“I can see that,” Kenny said. “When I was little, I always told my two older sisters that I was Mom's favorite. She always corrected me and said that she had more than enough love in her heart for all three of us, but there were different reasons she liked each of us so much.”

Kenny talked far more about his best friends than he did his immediate family, but there was no mistaking the affection he had for them when he spoke of them. “That's exactly what I'm talking about. I will always love Rhonda, and I miss her so much. I hate that she wasn't here to witness what a fine young man Cameron grew up to be.”

Kenny squeezed my fingers. “I bet she knows.”

I laughed softly. “I like to think so. But Indie coming back into our lives helped me understand that my loving him as a son doesn’t take away from my relationship with Cameron at all. Which means opening my heart up to you isn't negating the love I felt for Rhonda in any way.”

“You mean opening your heart up to somebody,” Kenny corrected me, trying to minimize himself in this equation.

“Shortcake, I chose those words very purposefully. I can promise you that in the last fifteen-plus years, there hasn't been one other person that I've even kind of thought about pursuing something with.”

He ducked his head, trying to hide his pleased smile, but I saw it. “Okay.” His head popped up. “Is that how you knew you were into men, or have you been attracted to guys in the past?”

I smirked. “Cameron and I discussed that at length the other day, and I think maybe I'm just Kenny-sexual.”

He rolled his eyes. “Silly, Daddy.”

“You think I’m kidding, but I’m not. I can tell when a man is handsome enough, but that doesn’t mean I’ve ever cared one way or another. Not like I appreciate a woman’s beauty.”

He tilted his head, scrutinizing me. “Huh. That’s interesting.”

I shrugged a shoulder. “It is what it is.”

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