Page 56 of Hide From Me

“Yeah. As in, he runs this whole fucking shitshow. The fights were his idea about eight years ago, I think? I can’t remember exactly. But the money they brought in changed a lot of things for us.”

I’d missed Zeid’s entire fight, I’d just realized. His chest was rapidly rising and falling as they raised his hand over his head. He’d won. Some girl danced around the ring and walked up to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. I’d watched plenty of the other fights. There had been several before Xander’s, and most of the guys grabbed those girls and seemed to celebrate right there in the middle of the ring.

“Are those girls the girlfriends of the fighters or something?”

Maddie rolled her eyes.

“God no. They’d love to be, I’m sure. Most of them are just spoiled little rich girls who come down to the ring and volunteer to be a sacrificial lambs. Tiny bikini isn’t optional, and they all seem just fine with it.”

I had a lot of respect for Zeid right now. He hadn’t grabbed that girl’s ass or shoved his tongue down her throat on stage like so many of the other fighters had.

“Oh. Okay.”

Maddie watched me. “So you claim you don’t know that Raven shithead, but what’s your history with Cas? Winnie seems protective of you, just like she is with him.”

My mind was still trying to grasp what she meant by the head of the Spectors. I’d been away for years. He hadn’t wanted out, but I’d never thought that he would be here, in charge.

The announcer came on over the shitty PA system.

“The fight of the night. The showdown of the Spectors and the Ravens. Hope you all bet on the right asshole,” said the guy in the center of the ring.

I looked in each of the corners and saw Cas in one; his eyes burning a hole through me with the way he watched. I met his eyes, but all too soon I blinked and looked away. He was intense, and I didn’t know what was all going through his head. But I was still mad that he’d up and left me naked and alone. Fuck him.

I looked over at the Raven’s second and flashed him a little smile. He was watching me, or at least at that moment he was. He winked my way.

I let my nerves settle and looked back at Cas’s corner, and a chill ran along my spine at the slow smile he gave me. Fuck, if I wasn’t sure he was a man, I’d have thought he was a god, or, rather, a devil. If I had been anyone smart, that look should have scared me, but instead I was already wet like my girly bits were onboard with any punishment that came with a look like that.

“Shit girl. For someone that seems to claim she doesn’t know either man, you sure seem to have captured their attention. If Winnie hadn’t vouched for you, I’d been fucking jealous that you were playing with both of them.”

I turned away and waited for the fight to start. I wasn’t really sure I could watch this.

“I swear I don’t know that Raven guy at all, and Cas? I met him when I was a teenager a few times, and that’s all. There is no history, I promise.”

There was no history, and I wasn’t exactly sure what the present was either.

I’d spent too much time building up a story, and here he was. In charge of everything I hated. I thought he hadn’t had a choice. But I was wrong. I hated them all for what they did to my mom. My entire life had been one move after another, all because of something to do with these pricks. The announcer had the fighters come to the center. Their shorts were long and tight. Their muscles were defined, and I was certain every defined ripple was mostly from beating people rather than just the gym. The entire place filled with screams and cheers. It was all deafening. I didn’t know why I even came out with someone I’d just met. Damn it, I was so desperate to be loved.

I laughed, and no one heard the insanity. I was so desperate for touch that I’d let a man who broke into my apartment fuck me hours ago. I let him fuck me in a club. I should have fought harder.

How could I have been so dumb? My father was a part of the Spectors and had been the reason I’d ever even met Cas and Xander and Zeiden, and they were the only things I thought that was good about any of it. I’d come back chasing the only time in my life I’d felt truly protected. I was so starved of love that I looked for it here, and why? They all lied to me. Everyone in my life lied to me.

I tried to step out of the small section of reserved seating.

“Where are you going?” Maddie asked.

I looked up just as Cas landed a nasty-looking punch and the Ravens guy’s head twisted in an awkward angle.

“I just need to get out of here.”

She studied me.

“I was just kidding. Look, Winnie wanted you here, and she might be a little old lady, but she scares me too. So close your eyes and cover your ears, but please stay.”

Hell.

I just nodded and took my place. I looked around to see if I could find Xander or Zeiden, because they might have been in on the same lies, but they hadn’t tried to screw me literally and probably figuratively. If I could just get to them without Cas, maybe I could. Well, what was I looking for?

Another thud had me flinching and looking up as the crowd roared louder for a moment. I found myself dreading the thought that it was Cas. Not wanting to care didn’t mean I could just flip a stupid switch, even if I wanted to. It wasn’t his fault that all those years ago the Spectors had put a target on my mother for reasons I could never understand, never would. She was dead and so was my father.

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