Page 11 of Mania

The bathroom is eerily quiet while I’m banging against the walls of my consciousness, pleading to get out.

Please.Please.

The soft drip of water falling from the faucet. The low hum of the fan in the other room.

Everything sounds so domestic.

So mundane.

Time slips by and the droning of life continues unencumbered as I experience the most terrifying seconds of my life.

My hand grips the razor, slowly reaching for my opposite wrist.

No.

No.

This can’t be happening.

Who is controlling my body?

This can’t be happening.

Don’t do this. Please. Don’t do this.Please.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

My sobs are silent, but they deafen me as I continue to plead with no one but myself.

The blade touches my skin. My consciousness falters, blackening at the edges as I try my hardest to stay alert, knowing all too well how this will end.

My hand presses down hard, the blade piercing the skin, and I watch with horror as the first drop of blood appears.

This is it.

I’m going to die here.

A presence shadows the doorway, but I can’t look up, still a prisoner trapped in my own body. I watch as a hand sheathed in a leather glove reaches for the blade and throws it against the wall.

Suddenly, I’m propelled back into myself, and the first thing I do is let out a blood-curdling scream. My eyes snap to the figure standing over me as I bring my knees up to my chest, the water sloshing in waves over the edge of the bathtub.

Their face is covered by a long black sheet falling over their broad shoulders; otherwise, they are dressed casually in jeans and a white t-shirt, black leather gloves covering their hands. The sheet molds over their face, a whisper of a square jaw underneath.

But there’s nothing casual about this. I’m frozen. Even though I’m now capable of moving, I still find myself unable to do so. My gaze is locked on this … this … man?

He steps forward, and I spring back to life, trying to distance myself from him, but quickly realize that I have nowhere to escape.

My head thunks against the bathroom tiles behind me as he leans down and reaches for me. My heart beats wildly, my breathing strained and ragged when his thumb touches my bottom lip. The smell of leather reaches my nose, and I grow still. I can almost feel his eyes trained on me while he drags his thumb across my lip. His touch is rough but somehow gentle all at once.

The mundane sounds of every day continue in the background while my mind splinters, unable to decipher the feelings suddenly exploding inside of me.

It only lasts a few seconds.

Then it’s over.

He straightens back to his full height, reaches for the blade on the floor, and walks out of the bathroom.

Chapter6

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