“I think it’s only right since you’ve seen me at my worst,” she says.
I look up at her, my chin resting against her. She’s smiling and everything in me calms down just by seeing the look on her face.
“Talk to me, Logan.”
I shake my head. “I can’t.”
“Why?”
I swallow. “I’m supposed to be strong foryou. I’m supposed to be your rock and who you run to when in need. I’m supposed to be the person who carries whatever you need with me on my shoulders.”
“And who is that person for you?”
I fight to keep my emotions stuffed down.
No sleep.
A meeting with the chief.
Life changing before my eyes.
My futurechanging.
“I… I don’t know,” I admit.
“Let me be your person then.” She takes her hand in my jaw again until I look up at her. She brings her other hand up so that now both cups my cheeks. She offers me a soft smile. “Let me in.”
It’s the same thing I’ve said to her so many times.
I inhale slowly, and the scent of honey and vanilla engulfs me before I release an exhale. This is where Emiline learnsmyweaknesses.
“All my life, I’ve wanted to be like my dad. I wanted to follow in his footsteps and make him proud of the man I’ve become. I’ve made my job my life to get to the point of making that dream a reality.”
She nods, lowering herself to eye level with me, intently listening to every word that rolls out of my mouth.
“I had a meeting with the chief this morning. He’s offering me his position. He wants me to take over as chief of police.”
“Logan, that’s amazing.”
I don’t smile and don’t acknowledge her words.
“But everything in my life has changed…” I pause, looking her deep in the eyes and hoping like hell she understands what I mean by that. “So much that I’m not sure it’s what I want anymore. I’m left here wondering what I even want in life.”
She stares at me with confusion written all over her face.
“You, Emiline. I wantyou.”
She stands, taking a tentative step back as if my words kicked her in the stomach.
I reach up, taking both of her hands in mine as I stand before her. “In a good way.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I lost my dad after he picked up an overtime shift to help the department. I was young and begged him to get pizza on the way home. Of course, he did because he would do anything for us.”
All the emotions I fought so hard to keep down come to the surface. I blink them away, but it’s no use. Saying them out loud to her only makes them that much more real.
“He was more than just a father to me; we was my hero and a role model. I was a twelve-year old boy begging his dad to stop and pick up a pizza on the way home from an extra shift he worked because the station was short-staffed. He was the type of man who would do anything to make his family happy. On his way back, he got stuck in traffic and decided to try a different route when another car ran a red light and slammed straight into him. He was pronounced dead at the scene.”