Page 124 of That Last Secret

We might be keeping our relationship a secret, but she’s mine in every sense of the word.

May

My alarm goesoff at five and I shoot out of bed faster than I ever have. The anxiety of the day barely let me get a wink of sleep last night.

It’s our final exam day, the culmination of years of hard work and dedication in our nursing program.

Not just any final exam, but our last one as a nursing student.

Lying in bed last night, I kept replaying disease processes in my head. But I also kept telling myself that I’ve made it this far, that Icanand Iwillmake it through.

It doesn’t make me any less anxious though.

My negative thoughts creep in. My thoughts of self-doubt and not feeling good enough. The idea of making it this far, and this taking me out.

Imagine I fail it so severely I have to retake the last semester over again?

I tossed and turned every time that last idea crossed my mind.

I brush my teeth and get dressed before going to the kitchen to make two cups of coffee. As soon as it stops brewing, Brooke comes out of the guest bedroom.

“You’re truly a sick individual for being up with the sun today of all days,” Brooke groans as I slide the cup of iced coffee in front of her. “But I love you for filling me with caffeine.”

“You know I’m up early on exam days.”

“I didn’t think it wasthisearly.”

“It’s usually not.” I laugh. “But I barely slept last night. I’m so nervous about this exam.”

“We got this, Em. You know we do,” she reassures me.

Brooke’s soft tone makes me feel more at ease. She and I have the same brain. We study together, and tend to get similar grades, so hearing her say it really lessens the heavy weight sitting on my chest right now.

Brooke has no idea the power behind her words, either. I had no idea that she was spending the night, so I didn’t spiral into a full-blown panic attack this morning since Logan had to work last night.

I asked her on a whim, claiming we can review together in the morning before we leave and without hesitation, she said yes.

I’ve said it before and it’s worth saying again, I don’t know what I’d do on this journey without her.

“Did you want to review the study guides before we leave in nine hundred hours?”

“Don’t be dramatic. The exam is at eight.”

Brooke looks at her wrist where there is no watch in sight. “And it’s five.”

I grin. “Just enough time.”

“You’re annoying as hell.”

“And you love me for it.”

We drink our coffee and spend the next hour reviewing practice questions in the back of our books. Then, we pull up the online resource the college provided us and do some more there together. We talked through the ones we got wrong, discussing the rationale behind each answer and reinforcing our understanding of the material.

I finally decide to take a shower and attempt to shut my mind off for the next twenty minutes.

I can do this.

I’ve made it this far. I can make it through this.

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