Page 137 of That Last Secret

“Talk to me,” Silas says out of breath.

I retake my stance, legs slightly parted, with my arms covering my face. “I have a meeting with the chief today.” I throw one jab, followed by a right hook. “I have to give him my decision by the end of the day.” I throw a jab with my left, then my right. “And Emiline told me she loves me.”

He bounces away from me, not allowing me to get another punch in.

He stands there in shock.

“She told me she loves me, and I told her she wasn’t supposed to fall in love with me and I walked out.”

“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath.

“Yeah.” I sigh, feeling completely defeated.

I drop my gloves and keep my eyes fixed on the ground. I hate myself more than I ever have before for how I reacted.

“What are you planning to do with the chief?”

I shake my head. “I don’t have an answer.”

“And… Emiline?”

“I don’t have an answer for that either.”

“Do her brothers know about you two?”

“No.”

He nods, his understanding of the situation evident in his eyes.

“You love her.” It comes out as a statement.

I scoff. “Another thing I can’t answer.”

He steps closer, placing a hand on my shoulder. “You love her, Bennett. There's no doubt about it.”

I raise a brow, and he levels his eyes with me.

“I’ve seen a change in you over the last year. From the first time you told me you saw Emiline differently until recently. You used to be a hardass, covering up whatever pain you kept hidden deep inside of you by being the way you are. There’s nothing wrong with that. But I’ve seen you spending time with her, change you in good ways. You allowed yourself to be open and vulnerable with someone. You let some of those walls down for her. And most importantly, you cared for her when she needed you the most.”

I raise the corner of my lips, but not enough for a complete smile.

“No wonder she fell in love with you,” Silas continues. “But you need to know there’s nothing wrong with loving her back. I know you worry heavily about the future and what’s to come. But you can’t. You fucking can’t let that take away any ounce of happiness you have. Letting the future control your actions… hell, lettingfearcontrol your actions will not make you feel any happier. I’ve said it before, but when you’re at the end of your life, lying there, and you see the bright lights when it’s your time to go and your life flashes before your eyes… will you be happy with what you see? Or pissed off because you let the greatest thing that has ever happened to you slip between your fingers.”

I blink back the tears, not even caring that my best friend is about to see me cry.

“Let it out, Bennett. Let the tears fall. Let yourself feel all the things.”

“I don’t know how to let myself love her,” I choke out. “How do I let the crippling fear of an uncertain future go?”

“I wish I had an answer for that,” he says, echoing my words. “But you just have to live in the moment, Bennett. That's all any of us can do.”

I nod because he’s right.

I have to just live in the moment with her, I can’t let what happened to my dad hold me back from experiencing the greatest joy in my life.

“Now, go have your meeting with the chief,” Silas says. “Call me later and let me know how it goes.”

I pace my kitchen back and forth, thunder booming in the distance.

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