Page 14 of That Last Secret

“Nonsense.” My brother waves his hands.

Logan pauses for a moment longer, eyes flashing to mine with hesitation for a brief moment before he retreats out the front door to grab his sweatshirt.

I stand there feeling like all eyes are on me. The last thing I want is to borrow this from him and be forced to see him again to give it back.

And I don’t want to be consumed by Logan’s scent.

“Tommy,” I say now that Logan is out of sight. “I’m pretty sure your friend can’t stand me. Now you’re forcing him to give me his clothes.”

Thomas swats a hand in my direction. “Oh, stop that. Logan loves you. You’re like a little sister to him.”

I say nothing back.

In fact, I canfeelmy heart rate pick up from that statement alone.

There isn’t an ounce of ‘love’ toward me in that man’s body.

For years, he’s always been so kind to me. Granted we’ve never hung out or spent much time together. But the times that I did see Logan, he was always nice. He would say hi, have quick playful banter with me about putting up with three older brothers, but lately that’s not the Logan I get in passing.

I’d be lying if I say it doesn’t hurt. I miss the way he was friendly with me, or used to smile at me, or hell, even talk to me.

Now I just get the cold version of him.

I try not to let these things get to me, but the only thing that replays in my head right now is that I’m like a little sister toLogan. I know that’s all I’ll ever be to him, even if there was a time a few years back when I wished it was more.

When my all-consuming crush made me want him more than my next breath, but I remind myself I was young when I thought about things like that.

I was naïve, and he was just my brother’s hot friend.

As that last thought crosses my mind, Logan walks back in with his hoodie and passes me the same royal blue one he had on when I saw him in the coffee shop. Our fingers graze and every nerve in my body spikes. The electric feeling from such a small move forces me to feel off, as if I’m going to tumble to the ground. We both stand there, staring into each other’s eyes for a moment too long before he pulls away. It was so fast, one would think the contact burned his skin. I keep watching as he clenches the muscle in his jaw, looking angry over whatever that just was between us.

“Thank you,” I say reluctantly, taking it from him, looking down at the soft fabric in my hands.

“Anytime, Emmy,” Logan replies flatly. His tone leading me to believe he’s definitely annoyed with this entire thing.

I’m equally aggravated because I hate that he calls me that. It makes me feel young. No one but Logan calls me that, and I’m convinced he does it just to piss me off.

I want to smile and show him he doesn’t affect me, but I can’t.

I can’t because I keep replaying Tommy’s words in my head.

He loves you like a little sister.

April

Most of thestudents in my cohort have spent their spring break in some tropical paradise or visiting family. I’ve spent mine attempting to get ahead on assignments. I know myself enough to know that if I took a break from the books, it would only increase my stress and anxiety.

Except today.

Today, I forced myself to puteverythingto the side.

I can’t remember the last time I had a day where I did absolutely nothing and bummed it on the couch watching reruns of reality television shows.

My issue is I don’t know how to sit still and relax.

I ended up cleaning my apartment while the TV played in the background. Then, I went to the gym to use the Stairmaster, which was oddly therapeutic.

Now, I’m standing in the middle of my small living room, staring at my surroundings, wondering what the hell to do with myself.

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