Page 145 of That Last Secret

Thiswasn’t how I wanted them to find out.

Now, Logan is in a medically induced coma, and I’m left to deal with them on my own. The last thing I plan to tell them is that I’m having his baby right now.

I can’t imagine the rage when I add that to the fire.

Nausea rises into my throat and I throw the covers off to run to the bathroom inside my room. Nothing but bile comes out because I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning. My chest hurts from puking as hard as I am and I just let more tears fall right into the toilet.

How do I even have tears left to cry?

There’s a soft knock on the door.

“It’s me,” Brooke says quietly.

“Come in,” I choke out, my voice feeling drier than the Sahara Desert.

The door opens and she crouches down beside me. She places one hand on my back and wraps my hair in her other hand to keep it out of my face. She says nothing. She knows that just being there is enough for me.

I attempt to throw up again, but nothing comes out.

“I’m sorry,” I cry between heaves.

“Shh. Don’t be.”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry for lying to you for so long.”

“You didn’t lie to me about anything. I knew what was going on with Logan.”

I sit up and reach for a piece of toilet paper to wipe my face and blow my nose before tossing it in and flushing. I sit back against the wall, bring my knees to my chest, and look up at Brooke, still crouched beside me.

She offers me a sympathetic smile.

“Not about Logan.”

She cocks her head to the side in confusion.

“I’ve been…” I pause, trying to figure out how to say this. “Dealing with panic attacks.”

“Is that what it was when you saw… you know?”

I nod. “I’ve been dealing with them since school started. When I get overwhelmed or anxious about something, I just spiral. Before every exam, I’d get so lost in my head and let the thoughts take over.”

Brooke sighs. “Oh, Em. I wish you would have told me.”

“Trust me, I wish I did too. I just didn’t want anyone to know. I didn’t want you or anyone else to look at me differently. I was afraid those who knew would treat me like I was made of glass and might break at any second.”

Shaking her head, Brooke stands up. She extends her hand for me to take it to get me off the floor, saying nothing as she guides me back to the bed, sitting on the edge beside me.

“Dealing with this doesn’t make you weak, Emiline. It makes you the strongest person I know for facing the world and these feelings on your own every day. You’ve been too strong for too long. Let us help you now.”

A tear trickles down my face again, and she reaches up and wipes it.

“You’re not alone, Emiline,” Peyton says from the door.

I turn my head and see Peyton and Avery standing there. Peyton has flowers in her hand, and Avery is… crying?

“Are you crying?” I ask her.

“Don’t start with me right now,” Avery scolds. “We heard every word of that whether or not you wanted us to. It hurts so bad to hear you’ve had to battle that alone.”

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