Page 26 of Broken Ice, Mended Hearts

“With my bed. I’ve hardly slept a wink since you left. If I get some rest, I’ll be in better shape to see you. Let’s have lunch tomorrow after our workout.”

“We’re still doing that?”

“No choice. Sometimes, I get heavy in the summer. If it happens this year, I’m blaming you.”

I wondered what his definition of heavy was. Three percent body fat? “Guess I’ll be working you hard, then.”

He snorted. “Sounds like you have an ulterior motive, Holmer.”

“And you don’t? There has to be some reward for working out.”

Our eyes locked.

“Cuda Arena, ten a.m.?” he asked. “We’ll probably have the gym to ourselves.”

“I’ll be there. Make sure you get some rest.” I winked and added, “If you get worked up, call me. FaceTime sex can really take the edge off.”

He angled his head down, looking at me through his thick lashes. “I’ve got to admit, even with all the shit I’ve done, that’d be a first. I’ll keep it in mind.”

I sat on my balcony, surrounded by the dazzling spectacle of fireworks in every direction. From my vantage point, I could see the display on the National Mall as well as others in nearby Virginia and Maryland. Yet I stared at the beauty without seeing it, the colorful explosions eclipsed by the chaos in my mind.

What I was thinking was anyone’s guess because I didn’t know myself. My heartbreak over Drake still had the power to bring tears, but I’d apparently learned nothing. After fretting over Pip for two days, I gave him a pass for treating me like crap when I finally got him to talk.

Well, it wasn’t exactly a free pass, but I hadn’t let him know how his actions affected me. The hurt remained locked up inside Iron Sven. It was right for me to consider what he was going through, but why hadn’t I at least hinted at my own confusion? The answer, which I’d known for days, was scary as hell. I already liked Pip too much, opening the gates for him to marchin and transform the lingering hurt over Drake into something so heart-wrenching I might not recover.

A loud explosion made me flinch, and as colorful fire illuminated the sky, my thoughts raced again. After our hookup, Pip freaked out. I’d assumed it was because I was a man, but was that really it? When we talked earlier, he mentioned our connection. I wondered how much of his anxiety stemmed from having sex with a man he genuinely cared about.

That aside, Pip wasn’t the only one to have a meltdown. I fell apart when he didn’t respond the way I wanted him to. Letting my own panic control me had been a terrible mistake. I couldn’t control Pip’s actions, but no matter what happened, I couldn’t let myself fall apart again, either.

I didn’t have to give him the power to destroy me emotionally. There had to be a middle ground where we could be friends who hooked up but kept emotions under control. I’d managed it with men in the past, and there was no reason I couldn’t do it again. It was all about schooling my thoughts and expectations.

Chapter 7

Gags

I racedthrough the maze of narrow streets, heading for the players’ entrance to the parking garage. Sven and I had agreed to meet at ten, but my detour for coffee had me running behind. Making matters worse, I needed to swing by the GM’s office first to sign some papers. After ghosting Sven for two days, I sure as hell didn’t want to keep him waiting.

My mind was a jumbled bag of thoughts when it came to him. There was an instinctive pull, a magnetic force drawing me toward him. I’d felt such attractions before, like with Nick Johnson, the Barracudas’ captain. What I didn’t feel for Nick was an undeniable urge to touch him and exchange kisses, to share secrets and longings, to suck his dick and let him suck mine.

Yet alongside the gravitational pull to Sven was an undercurrent of fear. My attraction to him had the potential to turn my life upside down. Hooking up was one thing, but wanting to spend a night divided between wild sex and discussing our thoughts was something else entirely. I’d neverbeen good at talking about my feelings, and delving into emotions that could spark a deeper connection was terrifying.

The confusion had me on the brink of banging my head against the steering wheel. As I parked my SUV, a jumble of nerves vibrated in my stomach even as excitement raced through my heart. It would be about ten more minutes before I saw Sven.

I focused on calming breaths as I entered Cuda Arena. A modern glass and steel structure only a few years old, it held a proud place as one of the country’s foremost hockey arenas. The team’s owner, Allen Friedlander, had spared no expense in building the dedicated hockey facility. Rarely hosting events outside the puck-and-stick world, it was more than where we played; it also housed the team’s offices and boasted the most luxurious players’ suite I’d ever seen. The gym was a state-of-the-art dream for men who had to stay in shape no matter what.

For the second year in a row, the Washington Congressmen were also playing at Cuda Arena because their usual downtown venue was undergoing renovations. The sharing arrangement worked because the league had helped us organize our schedules so one team was on the road while the other played at home. Since the Congressmen had their own practice rink in Alexandria, there were no conflicts when both teams had overlapping downtime.

After signing the paperwork, I mumbled goodbye to the secretary, picked up the two cups of coffee I’d brought along, and hurried out of the office. My watch read 9:59. With one minute to get down to the locker room, I took the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator.Don’t chicken out, I kept telling myself.You want to kiss him, so don’t be a coward.

Rounding the corner toward the players’ suite, I nearly collided with Sven, who was walking from the opposite direction. We both came to an abrupt stop, grinning stupidly ateach other. He’d pushed his Ray-Bans up, anddamn—how could he look so fucking sexy because he had sunglasses on his head?

Mon Dieu.My heart hammered like I’d never seen him before. He was devastating with his windblown hair, and we locked stares in what could only be described as an eye-hug. His irises were deep blue, but the bright light in the corridor brought out aspects of them I hadn’t noticed before. Small patches of lighter blue and a few flecks of gold were scattered across, making his eyes seem like glittering jewels. No wonder they were so easy to dive into.

My heart pumped faster as I lowered my gaze. A green T-shirt hugged his torso, highlighting the contours of his pecs. Snug cotton shorts left little to the imagination, and the outline of his cock was unmistakable. His thighs were massive, and my dick stiffened when I remembered kneeling between his legs while I jerked him off.

“Hey,” he said, using the sharp Swedish inflection I recognized from past teammates.

Offering a casual upward nod, I swallowed hard before eloquently responding with, “Hey.”

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