Page 3 of Broken Ice, Mended Hearts

“Glad to hear it. I’ve been through it twice, and it takes a while to get over a divorce. Are you seeing friends? You don’t need to hole up by yourself.”

I shrugged. “A lot of the guys are gone for the summer. Some of us have plans to get together next week.” That was a lie, but Alex was concerned about my well-being, and I didn’t want to worry her.

“That’s good.” She leaned forward and folded her hands on the desktop. “How long will you be in New York?”

“Flying back in the morning. I only came up to meet with you.”

“Come over for dinner tonight, then. We won’t talk business. I’m having someone else too, and?—”

My stomach clenched. “Don’t try to set me up. Didn’t you hear what I said?”

She waved me off. “Get over yourself. The other guest is a man. We all have common interests, so I’m sure you’ll have a good time.”

“Is he your boyfriend? I don’t want to be a third wheel.”

“No. He’s gay.”

Since my gay teammates were my best friends, I had no problem with the man’s sexuality. I resisted asking who he was, not wanting it to seem like my decision about going depended on her choice of friends. “All right. What time?”

Ignoring the ninety-degree weather, I walked up Fifth Avenue from Alex’s office. I was staying at the Park Lane Hotel, which was about a mile away, so it was a chance to get some exercise and clear my head. Alex had been my agent for eleven years. One of the best in the business, she was widely respected and had a reputation for being hard as nails. That was a good thing when she was going to bat for me, but not always pleasant when she was being frank.

I’m not worth fourteen million a year?Could she have been right that the Cudas wouldn’t even consider that figure? I’d done a lot for the team. Wouldn’t they want to reward me, especially if they knew it was only for two additional years?

Pain shot through my knee, and I had to stop and bend over to rub it. I’d had surgery two years earlier, and while the ligament had healed, the knee had never stopped acting up.

Tabarnak! Iamgetting old.

Then why can I still skate circles around half the D-men in the league and beat the hell out of them to boot?

How much longer will that hold up?

Regardless of what I did after retirement, I’d miss the game terribly. A hockey player was all I’d ever wanted to be. Dad had me on skates when I was two, and I played at every level growing up. From the time he took me to my first Montreal Lynx game, I was determined to be just like those guys.

But another nagging fear was worse than the prospect of giving up hockey—the possibility of living out my life alone. Despite all the hurt Ella had dealt my way, I missed having someone to share my life with. I needed a partner in crime, but I was tired of having to count on my teammates for that.

Will I ever have someone special again?

God, I hope so. I don’t want to be alone. I need to love someone who loves me, somebody who won’t throw my heart on the floor, smash it into a thousand pieces, and shit on the remains.

By the time I turned left onto Central Park South, I was soaked with sweat. My clothes clung to me in the sticky heat, reflecting my unease. Ruefully, I wondered if I should change sides, if dating men might be a better way to go. After all, my gay friends were some of the happiest people I’d ever known.

I laughed because it was absurd to think you could simply decide which team to play for. I’d experimented with the otherteam once, not long before I met Ella. I’d always been curious, and I had to admit the sex was good, but it wouldn’t work for me because I wanted to live my life with a woman. The experience showed me I wasn’t a hundred percent straight—maybe only ninety-nine or so—but I needed more than mindless sex with anyone.

I’d have to wait to see what happened, because I couldn’t decide when to fall in love. My heart was in charge of that, but next time I would be more careful. There would be no quick proposals or assuming someone loved me as much as I did them. I wasn’t a machine, but I was smart, and it was time to act like it.

Finally, the hotel came up on my left, and refrigerated air hit me as soon as I walked through the doors. With some time to kill before going to Alex’s, I went to find the bar. Hopefully, a cold beer and heavy air-conditioning would cool off my anxiety.

Chapter 2

Sven

“The table’sset for three. Tell me you aren’t trying to set me up.”

Alex stopped shaking the cocktails long enough to bark out a laugh. “Oh my God. You’reallfull of yourselves.”

“All who?”

“Hockey players.” She rolled her eyes and snickered. “There’s no one else in the world but you. The rest of us are simply here to serve.”

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