Page 36 of Broken Ice, Mended Hearts

“They’re happy for you too. They like you.” He stepped closer, placing his hands on my hips. “I think I hurt you in there, but I didn’t mean to. You’re special to me. Please don’t think I’m using you, because I’m not.”

What was I supposed to say to that? Though his words had stung, his apology seemed sincere. I’d been played before, and he wasn’t acting like someone who was trying to smooth things over so he could keep getting laid. Truthfully, our relationship status would be ambiguous even if he was open about his sexuality. We were in the early stages of dating at most, with no guarantees about anything, and I was having a damn good time.

Still, there were doubts. Most of the men I’d dated had only been interested in temporary flings. For them, hookups were always more important than a genuine connection. Pip seemedbetter than that, but whatever his sexuality might be, he’d never had a relationship with a man. So, even as his lips repeatedly quirked into charming smiles, my doubts remained.

He wanted to spend his life with a woman, and the thought of being a placeholder on his way to a traditional “happily ever after” filled me with dread. I wasn’t sure I could survive feeling like Pip tossed me aside for someone else he thought would give him a better future.

Would turning my back on our shared joy be like running from sunshine? Could the spark between us prove to be stronger than our risky walk on the edge of heartbreak?

There was no question I had to be careful, but for the time being, I enjoyed our laughter and intimacy too much to let it go. Even if what we had proved to be no more than a detour for both of us, our time together could still be beautiful. It might help us both find what we needed in life.

“I believe you,” I said. “I’m not using you, either.”

He lowered his hands to the small of my back, pulling me close as he pressed his lips against mine. The kiss was emotional, a silent exchange of feelings I couldn’t ignore. When he drew away, he asked, “Will you come over? I need to be with you.”

“Sure. I need it too.”

As I walked to my car, my nerves jangled with conflicting emotions. Back in the restaurant, I’d sensed that Pip cared for me more than he knew. Now I realized I might not be the only one who’d get hurt when our time together ended.

Chapter 10

Gags

Svenand I were more relaxed after our lunch with Blake and Sako, which meant we had an even better time when we were together. Since Sven loved baseball, we went to several games. He was especially fascinated by pitchers and would get so lost in watching them he’d forget about everything else going on around him. Surprisingly, he wrangled us an invitation to a post-game party once. It’s always fun meeting professional athletes who play other sports, and we had a ball. Afterward, Sven chattered like an excited kid all the way home.

We no longer left an unnatural distance between us while we walked around, and although we didn’t hold hands or stand with our arms around each other’s shoulders, we acted naturally. Sometimes, I got anxious in a crowd, but when people recognized us, I took it in stride. Sven had been out for years, but my reputation as a womanizer seemed to push his being gay out of people’s minds.

Sven and I weren’t dating, but we were definitely more than buddies, so I figured we were close friends helping each otherout. Sure, we liked each other a lot, but how long could you have sex with someone if you didn’t?

Occasionally, we went out in the evenings to soak up the city’s nightlife. Those times were filled with laughter, and we still shared the long, meaningful looks we always had. We never split up, and when people recognized us, we invited them over for a round of drinks. Still, even though I was having the time of my life, ominous timpani pounded in the background. Were we moving too fast, getting in too deep? Our paths, temporarily intertwined, would ultimately branch in different directions.

Now and then, fear of hurting us both twisted my gut, so building a wall around my emotions seemed like the logical thing to do. After all, that’s how I’d dealt with feelings all my life. But no matter how hard I tried to put up a barrier, I went back to him every day. No wall meant there was no hiding from what we had—or from the terrifying thoughts of where my feelings might lead.

When DC temperatures soared over a hundred degrees, we spent two days at Bethany Beach, Delaware. It was cooler there than in the city, and less crowded than other nearby towns. We attracted some interested looks after we arrived, but no one bothered us. The second morning, we went for a swim and then spread towels on the sand.

Sven grew so quiet I thought he’d fallen asleep, and I was drifting off when someone called my name. Opening my eyes, I looked up to find a woman with long, blonde hair standing over me, wearing a killer grin. “Hi,” I said, hoping she might take the hint and make her visit brief.

“Forgive me for bothering you.” She knelt beside me. “I wanted to say how much fun it is watching you play.”

“Thanks.” Still sleepy, I sat up so we were at eye level. “You’re a Barracudas fan?”

She licked her lips and twitched her head, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Isn’t everybody? I’m more of a Gags fan, though. And I must say, you’re even better looking up close than from the high seats in the arena.”

Glancing sideways, I was relieved to see Sven hadn’t moved. He had his sunglasses on, and though I couldn’t see whether his eyes were closed, I hoped they were. Looking at the blonde admirer again, I hesitated before answering. She was beautiful, and there was a time when I’d have handed the compliment right back to her. I’d have also been wondering if she was quickie material. But now, after weeks with Sven, I just wanted her to go away. “Thank you,” I said. “Do you live here?”

Her smile broadened. “No, but I have a cottage near the beach. Interested in coming over for a cold drink?”

I’d seen her hungry, star-struck look many times on others, and she wasn’t interested in a cold drink. A hot dick was more like it, so she could boast to her friends about how she’d bagged a hockey player during her vacation. “That’s nice of you, but I need to wake up my friend. We’re already late getting back on the road.”

She put on a well-practiced pout and let it morph into an equally well-rehearsed smile. “You sure? It won’t take long, and I promise you’ll have fun.” Nodding at Sven, she added, “You’ll be back before he wakes up.”

“I’m afraid I have to say no. We’re running late.”

“I’m great at?—”

“Thanks for saying hi,” I told her. “Enjoy your stay.”

After a big huff and terse goodbye, she marched away. I had to admit she had a nice ass, and if things had been different, I’d have probably been all over it.

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