Page 57 of Broken Ice, Mended Hearts

“I’m not… um…”

“Fuck it to hell,” he croaked. “Goddamn shit.”

I looked over and was dumbfounded to see his cheeks were wet too. Gagné was crying.

“I’d love to stay here with you,” I said. “I’m nervous about the season starting, what it will mean.”

He reclaimed his hand and reached for a tissue box on the end table. After we both wiped our cheeks, blew our noses, and found each other’s eyes again, he swallowed hard. “We both said a ton in our sort of fucked up way, but I have something else to ask you.”

“Go for it.”

“When we talked a few weeks ago, I said I couldn’t make any promises.”

“I remember.”

“I can now. You make me a different person than I used to be, in the best way. I’ve never been closer to anyone. Hell, we just fucking cried together.”

“If you ever tell anybody, Gagné, I’ll swear you’re a liar.”

“Same, but back to what I was saying. I’m ready to make some promises.” He took my hand again. “We don’t know what the future will bring, but I don’t want to walk into it without you.”

My mind raced. “What kind of promises do you have in mind?”

“I will be faithful to you and make you number one in my life. I want to be your partner.” He cradled my hand between both of his. “I’ve never experienced this before. You’re not fake, and you let me be me. I don’t feel like I have to live up to some fuckingexpectation every minute of the goddamn day. You like me for who I really am, even if I stink and don’t feel like taking a fucking shower.” He looked into my eyes. “What do you say? Is that a good enough promise?”

Perilously close to tears again, I hummed to be sure my voice would work. “It’s the best promise I ever heard, and I’ve never been happier in my life.” While I wondered if I should let things rest there, my mouth decided I ought to go on. “I’ve spent years hoping to be with someone who really cared about me, but all I ever found were people who wanted something from me. It was exhausting, especially with the pressure of millions of people knowing who I am, with preconceived ideas about how I should live my life. I’d almost forgotten who I was, but you helped me remember. I can be myself around you too. You don’t even make me get up and brush my teeth before I kiss you good morning.” He grinned, and all I could do was smile back. “Partners it is.”

After a moment, we leaned in, bumped noses, jerked back, and laughed. The comedy helped thin out the air, and we sat there beaming at each other like fools. After a while, Pip’s grin turned into one of his special smirks. “Can I kiss you now, Holmer? Without you trying to break my nose?”

“You’d better. If you don’t, I’ll kick your ass.”

He leaned toward me, and our lips touched while we hugged each other. As we deepened the kiss and lost ourselves in the glory of each other’s mouths, I remembered waking up with a hangover. This day had gone from the shithouse to heaven before noon.

Chapter 16

Gags

Sven hada few clothes at my house, but we had to go to his condo the next day so he could get more things he needed. Sure enough, a Fed Ex package from the league was waiting for him, containing the same papers mine had. He brought it along so we could fill out the forms together.

After a quick lunch, we took the paperwork back home and set up camp at a table by the pool. Under an umbrella, with enough grumbling to fuel a chorus of grumpy old men, we began the annual ritual of hand-cramping form-filling. Since we’d forgotten the league required driver’s license numbers and insurance information—despite providing the insurance themselves—we had to go back inside and find our wallets. For one form, we even looked ourselves up online to get pointless information about our early years. It was ridiculous because the league already knew most of what we told them. Ask us to confirm things that could change, like addresses, but requiring us to give information they’d had in their files for years? That was just mean.

“How many fucking times do I have to tell them dates and details from when I was a teenager in Sweden?” Sven asked, exasperated.

I scoffed. “And why the hell do they need my parents’ names? They’re both dead, and they died before I ever started playing in the league.”

“Fuck this shit!” Sven threw his pen across the table, and it dropped onto the ground. When it rolled into the pool, he had to go inside for another, cursing all the way.

When he came stomping back, I stood and took the pen from him. “We need a break, Holmer. Get in the pool.”

“Let’s finish the goddamn paperwork first. Then we can play all we want without this bullshit hanging over our heads.”

He had a point, so we sat down and went back to work. The sound of neighbors playing in their pool made it hard to concentrate, but at least the privacy fence kept us from having to see what we were missing.

Sven finished a form and pushed it to the side. “It’s not like they’ll be able to read a fucking word of it. My handwriting looks like something a dog would do with its claws.”

I picked up the form and laughed. “It looks pretty damn bad. I can’t tell the letters apart except for the Ts, and that’s because you cross them.”

“Fuck off, Gagné. Like yours is any better.”

---