Page 67 of Broken Ice, Mended Hearts

“What’s up, Gags?” Shuford had dismissed us for lunch, and Stick wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “You haven’t been yourself.”

Tyler joined us. “Where’s that wicked tongue? You haven’t even been telling stupid jokes in the locker room.”

“Just tired,” I said, unable to find a smile. “I’m getting too old for this shit.”

They exchanged a quick look, and Ty nodded. “Come and eat with Nick and me.”

“Sure. Where’s Kev?”

“He and Scott are having lunch with a reporter.”

We made small talk while we waited in the food line, then found a table. Things got quiet as we dug into our chicken and pasta, and since I had too much silence at home, I said, “This is good. Are the cooks in the players’ lounge making all this?”

Stick washed a bite of tortellini down with some Gatorade. “Nah, there are too many people here. Somebody’s catering it.”

“Wonder what we’ll have tomorrow?” Speculating about institutional food was about as lame as it gets, but I was trying not to think about Sven.

Stick and Tyler exchanged another glance, and then Stick said, “I know you’re missing Sven. We’re your friends, so how can we help?”

“It’s fucking nothing. Eckie and Cleevs put up with this shit last year, and…” Too depressed to keep my feelings hidden, I blurted, “Who even knows what Sven and I are to each other?”

“You tell us,” Ty said. “According to Kev, you and Sven seemed into each other when you played golf.”

“We’d been hanging out all summer. It was just that.” I couldn’t let down my guard, even though I loved these guys. If I did, I might end up blubbering in front of everybody.

“It wasn’t ‘just that.’” Stick had lost his smile. “You’ve never been a man to wear his heart on his sleeve, but we haven’t been as close as brothers for years without me being able to tell when you’re hurting.”

“Fuck!” I put down my fork and pushed my plate away. “What the hell do you expect me to say? I miss him, all right? It’s fucking harder than—” I stopped to bring my voice down a few notches. “I miss him a lot, but there’s nothing anyone can do about it.”

Ty pushed my plate back in front of me. “Eat. If you don’t, you’ll pass out by the middle of the afternoon.”

I choked down more chicken, and they finished their food before saying anything else.

“Are you guys talking every day?” Stick asked. “Texting, phone calls at night?”

“FaceTime’s good,” Ty added. “When Kev got hurt last year, we used it a lot when I was on roadies. You can see each other, and… do things.” He shrugged. “It isn’t the same as touching each other, but at least you can experience it together.”

Stick held up his hand while he swallowed. “Jacob and I do it too. If you keep that connection, it’s easier to talk about other things. Physical need has a way of pushing everything else out of the way.”

Ty pointed at my plate with his fork, reminding me to eat. “Phone sex helps keep things on an even keel.”

“Yes, but you guys are talking about four or five days. This bullshit will last for nearly a year. We’re too worn out to talk much at night, so we sure don’t have any energy for what you’re suggesting. We’ve tried.”

Stick shook his head. “This is training camp, Gags. It’s always hard as hell. Things will get back to normal when the season starts. We’ll be tired sometimes, but we won’t typically play over three games a week.” He gave me a sideways smile. “You’ve always had plenty of energy for dates before.”

“Without the all-day schedule of camp, you’ll be more creative,” Ty said. “You can talk in the middle of the afternoon, and you’ll have more energy for playing whack-whack.”

I snickered. “Whack-whack?”

“Yeah.” Ty exchanged a grin with Nick. “Whack-whack, whacky doodle, whip the pony.”

Nick couldn’t resist jumping in. “Shine your pole, whip some yogurt, beat the bishop.”

“Or…” Tyler glanced at Nick. “How about everybody’s favorite at the prep school Nicky and I went to?”

Nick chuckled, and they said it together: “The five knuckle Olympics.”

We roared, creating such a ruckus that heads turned around the room. After waving everyone off, I looked back at Nick and Ty. “You’re right. It can work.”But will it?Ty and Kev had years to build on, and so did Stick and Jacob. Cleevs and Drew had been together for a long time, and although Jack and Eckie hadn’t been together that long, at least they were married.

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