Page 71 of Broken Ice, Mended Hearts

Chapter 20

Sven

Pipand I still bickered from time to time, but never over anything major. We realized how important it was to make the most of our time instead of wasting it because we didn’t have more. Though we did our best to control our frustration, it might take an entire day to fuck the angst away when we finally saw each other.

He was always sweet when we talked, asking about my day and finding things to discuss besides our separation. I kept a list of conversation topics on my phone so I didn’t get carried away and bring us both down. Telling funny stories about teammates or discussing where we could go over the short holiday break left me feeling much better than complaining about how much we missed each other. At the end of our calls, we always asked if there was anything we could do to help the other, and the answer was always the same: stay healthy and remember how much I care for you.

In November, the Congressmen went to Boston for two games against the Beanies, and I got depressed. Pip and I had argued because we’d missed talking one afternoon. I wassupposed to call him, but they changed the location of the Congressmen’s pregame meal, and it took extra time on the bus to get there. Although I texted to warn him, he was cranky about it. And instead of understanding his disappointment, I got pissy because I thought he wasn’t happy enough to hear from me when I was able to call.

The next day, I paced around my hotel room. Despite all our efforts, the distance between us felt greater than usual. The physical separation was difficult, but not being together was eating at our emotional connection. Without that bond, we wouldn’t last long.

I’d had trouble falling asleep for weeks because I could never stop thinking about the weight of being apart. I’d lie awake wondering if we would make it through this year or if the distance would prove insurmountable. There was no doubt we had serious feelings for each other, but with at least six months of misery remaining, would our caring be enough to bridge the gap?

I was sitting down to read when there was a knock on the door. Opening it, I found Jack standing there, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but could I come in?” he asked. “I really need some advice.”

We settled into facing chairs near the window. While he chewed on a fingernail, I broke the silence. “What’s up? You don’t look too good.”

He shook his head. “This stupid idea the teams had, sharing the arena? It’s the worst fucking thing anybody ever thought of.”

His bitterness struck a chord, and I swallowed hard. “Damn right. Has something happened?”

“Eckie and I just had a huge fight. It’s never been this bad before.”

My gut clenched. Would this tear us all apart? “What was it about?”

Jack’s eyes teared up, and his voice was shaky when he said, “We miss each other so much, and we’re worried about Levi.” Levi was their toddler son. “Lately, neither of us can say the right thing. We’re always arguing. We make up, but nothing ever gets better because the goddamn situation stays the same.”

“You guys went through this last year, right? What’s so different?”

He let out a frustrated grunt. “I think it’s because wehavebeen through it already. We argued some last year, but nothing like this. The schedules weren’t so mutually exclusive. We were able to see each other more often, which made it bearable. Now, it’s like this fucking nightmare won’t end. As bad as it is not to have sex, it’s much worse not to be together. We’re sniping at each other like we have a choice about any of this.”

My hands started shaking, so I put them flat on my thighs. “Do you want to tell me about today’s argument?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it, but he’d come here for a reason. “I’ll be glad to listen.”

“Levi’s nanny is getting married. She’s leaving at the end of the year, so on top of all the other bullshit, we’ve got to find someone else. It’ll be extra hard since there are weeks neither one of us is in DC. Eckie freaked out and said he couldn’t deal with this anymore. He said as much as he misses me, he hates talking because it only makes him feel worse, and now Levi’s paying the price. He said fuck it, that…” Jack’s voice broke, and I leaned over to put a hand on his knee. He cleared his throat and whispered, “Eckie said maybe we should think about taking a break because we’re too wound up, that we could see if we get along better after the season’s over. Plus, he wants to quit. Stop playing hockey so he can stay home with Levi.”

I tried my best not to show the horror rushing through me. Jack and Eckie were married, and if this crap could make them think about splitting up, maybe we all needed to quit. Struggling to control my panic, I tried to reassure Jack. “Eckie didn’t mean it. He’s just upset.”

Jack took a deep breath and shook his head. “I’ve seen him upset too many fucking times, and this was different. I’m afraid he’s serious.”

“Jävla!” I looked out the window, trying to find inspiration that wasn’t there. “Go see him. This is too important not to.”

Jack looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “And tell Murray what?” Ted Murray was our head coach. “I’ve had a fight with my husband, so I’m leaving the road trip? He’d string me up by the nuts.”

“He might try, but better that than Eckie doing something he might regret for the rest of his life.”

“God, I need to see him so much, but I’m not sure.”

Fucking fuckity fuck!I tried to rein in my racing thoughts, and it took a moment to ask, “How long does it take Eckie to calm down after you guys go at it?”

He shrugged. “Usually not too long. A few hours if it’s bad.”

I rubbed my lips and tried to think of how to stop this from becoming a disaster. “All right, here’s what we’ll do. Hang out here for an hour, then go call Eckie back. If he’s come around, fine, but if he’s still talking crazy, you’ll tell Murray there’s an emergency with Levi and you have to go home early. We’re all flying back to DC tomorrow, anyway, so you’d only miss one game.”

“What if Eckie won’t talk to me?”

“This is about your family. If Eckie’s that upset, it’ll be even more urgent for you to get down there. He loves you, and I doubt he was serious about taking a break. We all say things in the heat of the moment.”

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