Page 80 of Broken Ice, Mended Hearts

“No, it was all at the hotel. We went straight to the airport from the arena.”

“Okay, hold on a sec.” He typed into his phone before slipping it in his pocket. “Just letting Nick know you arrived safely.” Nodding toward the door, he said, “Let’s go.”

It took a couple of minutes to walk to his car, and I smiled when he unlocked the doors. Stick loved fancy sports cars, but Jacob had driven the same beat-up Honda since I’d known him. “You ever think about buying a new ride?” I asked.

“Maybe next year. Things have started going wrong with this one, so it’s about time.”

“Any idea what you want?”

We got in before he answered. “Nick wants to get something fancy, but I’m not sure. Maybe just a new model of this one.”

That brought Sven to mind. He liked nice things, but at heart, he was a simple man. His SUV was new but not super-expensive. He didn’t care about impressing people with how much he had. Being a good person was the most important thing to him.

“You should get what you want, Jacob. Stick loves you for who you are, so never change. He’ll make sure you have anything you want.”

“No worries. He gives me what I need every time he says he loves me.”

I nodded and turned away so Jacob wouldn’t see the tears in my eyes. The jumble in my head came back as Jacob got us underway. It would take about fifteen minutes to get to the hospital, and I stared out the window while we drove through the city, hoping Sven would be awake when we got there. We needed to talk as soon as he was able, because Jacob’s words had driven home exactly how I felt.

“We stopped all the bleeding,” a young doctor said while we took the elevator up to the ICU. “The surgeons had to remove Mr. Holmer’s spleen and part of his liver. He also has a tib-fib fracture in his right leg that required an open reduction.”

I had no idea what that meant, but it didn’t sound as serious as the other things. “Did he wake up yet?”

“No. There’s some swelling in his brain, but it isn’t clear how serious that is. The neurologists plan to do more tests in the morning to assess the situation further.”

That sounded so bad I needed to think about it before I could even come up with a question. Meanwhile, I asked, “Is his heart okay?”

“He arrested twice, once in the ambulance and once in the ER, but it hasn’t happened again. I was in the operating room, and he made it through surgery without a serious incident.”

Jacob and I followed the doctor down the hall to a set of sliding glass doors with “Intensive Care Unit” painted acrossthem. Before we went in, the doctor asked, “Do you want us to change anything about Mr. Holmer’s care? Currently, we’re doing everything we can to keep him alive.”

Was he implying I should tell them to stop? “Keep doing whatever’s possible for him. Can I see him now?”

“Yes, but not for long.”

“Can I go with Gags?” Jacob asked.

“I’m afraid only one visitor at a time is allowed.”

Leading us through the doors into a waiting area, the doctor indicated Jacob should sit down before telling a nurse I could see Sven.

The nurse stood and smiled sympathetically. “Let’s get you ready. Come this way.”

In a small dressing room, she helped me put on a gown, mask, and gloves, then led me through a maze of cubicles. We came to a far corner of the room, and she nodded toward a bed. When I recognized Sven, my heart clenched so hard I was afraid it might stop. The meager, cottony light created a surreal atmosphere; with all the electronic equipment, it made me wonder if reality had become a dark science fiction movie.

“You can touch his hands,” the nurse said, “but please don’t disturb anything else. I’ll be back in a little while.”

The air, thick with an unmistakable hospital bite, pricked my lungs. After a steadying breath, I approached the bed. Sven was ashen, held captive by an enormous tangle of wires and tubes, including one in his throat. A bank of monitors over the bed, the source of the stingy light, spewed out displays I couldn’t begin to decipher. I only recognized one, the heart monitor. The rhythmic blip confirmed Sven was alive, but how close was he to leaving me?

“Sven?” I stepped closer and reached for his hand. The familiar workout calluses were there, but he was cold underneath the tape and tubes. “Can you hear me, baby?”

The question hung in the air, answered only by the hiss of his ventilator and the faint beep of the heart monitor. Tears ran down my face beneath the mask, and I struggled not to sob.

A paralyzing wave of regret washed over me. How could I have hurt him the way I did? “Please wake up. I need you with me.” He remained still. “I’m sorry for being such a fool. Please forgive me. I love you. I’ve loved you since last summer, but I was so damn pigheaded I didn’t recognize it for what it was.” The words caught in my throat, but I kept going. “You changed everything in my life for the better. I’ve never been in love before, but I am now. I love you so much.”

It took a huge effort to contain the cries aching to burst out of me. “Please come back, Sven. I can’t do this without you. Don’t leave me, baby.”

His silence stretched on, its heaviness crushing my spirit so much I lost my battle with tears. “Please forgive me. I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

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