Page 95 of Broken Ice, Mended Hearts

“Because I haven’t had any.” He looked down as he ran his finger around the rim of his mug. “The neurologist said I lucked out big-time with the head injury. Thank God, because what if I’d?—”

“Don’t go there.” I nodded at his coffee. “Drink up, and I’ll get us more.”

He drained his mug and handed it to me. “Is there any caffeine in the coffee?”

“Of course there is.” I refilled our cups and snickered as I took them back to the table. “I need caffeine to put up with you so early in the day.”

He squinted. “You made decaffeinated for a long time after the accident. You were afraid it might raise my blood pressure.”

“Because that’s what they said, but I got over it.” Sven snorted while he doctored his brew, and I shook my head. “I swear to God, Holmer, if you had cats, you’d name them Cream and Sugar.”

We bantered back and forth while we cooked breakfast—a routine within a routine. Since we were both hungry in the mornings, we usually had a big meal. Today was no exception, and we prepared a feast of bacon, eggs, potatoes, and toast to see him through his rehab session.

Though we were used to our schedule, today was tinged with the anticipation of change. As Sven improved, he’d begun pressing me about going back to the Barracudas, and although team management and my fellow players had been nothing but understanding, it was becoming more difficult to justify staying away. In January, I’d started going to practices when the team was in town, and Jacob took Sven to his appointments on those days.

We finally agreed I’d try going back to play. It shouldn’t be so hard on us because he wasn’t playing. Since he wasn’t on roadies with the Congressmen, we’d be together when I was in DC, so we hoped it would be easy to manage the shorter separations. In two days, I’d leave on my first road trip with the Barracudas since Sven’s accident. It was a quick two-game run to Chicago, and if all went well, I’d go back on the active roster after the trip.

Later, while I showered, I thought about everything I’d show Jacob, who would be staying with Sven while I was away. I’d already made a checklist with plenty of notes about everything, and I tried to remember what else he’d need to know. Trying to keep my unease at arm’s length, I reminded myself that Sven would have all the support he needed. Jacob, still a lifesaver, would be with him the entire time and would drive him to his appointments. As long as I left enough instructions, they’d be fine.

Still, I was worried about more than that. I couldn’t shake the nervousness about being apart. The fall had been so difficult it had almost destroyed us, and although our relationship was different now, I couldn’t help being wary.

Later that morning, on our way to Sven’s appointment, we were quiet in the car. When we stopped for a traffic jam on I-495, I sensed him watching me.

“Is something on your mind?” he finally asked.

“Not really. Just hoping this doesn’t make us late.”

He reached over and put a hand on my leg. “All right, Pip, let’s get real.” His voice was soft but determined. “You’re leaving in a couple of days, and I’ll still be doing all my rehab sessions.”

“And?”

“It’ll be the same thing we’ve been doing but with a different twist.”

Dread wound its way around my gut, more powerful than it had been earlier. “It’s a big twist, though. What if we’re not ready for it?”

“I think we are.” He squeezed my knee, and when I glanced over, he was smiling. “I can take care of myself at home, and Jacob will be my shadow. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Jacob’s amazing, but he doesn’t know how to take care of you the way I do.”

“He’ll do fine. Besides, I’m not a kid, and you and I need to get used to dealing with reality. We can’t spend every minute together for the rest of our lives. We play hockey for different teams, so time apart is a given.”

Anxiety twisted my insides into a fiery knot before bursting out of my mouth. “What if it’s like the last time? It almost tore us apart.”

“We’re different now.” He removed his hand from my knee and stroked my arm. “We love each other, and neither of us is going anywhere. For the rest of this season, I’ll be counting the hours until you get home, and I’ll meet you at the door with all kinds of dirty ideas.”

“We need more than dirty ideas.”Shit, don’t bark at him.“I’m sorry, I?—”

“Don’t be. Wedoneed more than that, but we’ve done great since the accident. We have so much that has nothing to do with sex, but…” He grunted as he leaned across the console to plant a kiss on my cheek. “I hope we never run out of dirty ideas, either.”

I smiled, the image of Sven waiting inside the door running through my head. He’d be naked, ready to sink to his knees and give me a welcome that would leave me blubbering like an idiot. “I like the idea of you waiting to show how much you missed me.”

He laughed. “Fuck off, Gagné. You’ll need to reciprocate, you know.”

“Oh, I’ll have that well covered.”

He smirked, his fingers now tracing their way along my thigh. “Be sure you do. You won’t be the only one getting horny while you’re gone.”

“Fair enough.” Brake lights went out ahead of me, and traffic inched forward. When we stopped again a few yards later, I turned to look at him. “How are you feeling? About the time without me, I mean.”

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