Page 58 of Lies Within the Darkest Tower

“I’m going back,” Quill said, taking Sawyer’s silence as a yes. “Tell Rider we’ll discuss the novices in the Garden.”

What the hell? Where had this come from?There were only a few hours of daylight left in the Gray. If Quill left now, he wouldn’t be able to return until morning.

He shoved past me to get to the door, but Sawyer caught his arm, stopping him.

“Don’t. She’s not there. I—” More panic flashed through Sawyer’s expression. “It’s why I used the ring so late yesterday. I couldn’t leave her at the castle.”

“So, she safe?” Quill asked, his reaction shocking me.

I had no idea why Quill was so interested in Sawyer’s sister. I’d never seen him interested in a human womanbefore. He didn’t even visit the brothel in Lehyrst with the other Guardsmen. And while yes, it went against everything we believed in to hurt a woman, there were a lot of human women being hurt in the human’s realm and we had to turn a blind eye to it. What made Sawyer’s sister so special?

“She’s safe.” Sawyer’s gaze dropped to his feet, adding to my frustration.

He was so timid. I knew he had a spark within him. I’d seen a glimmer of it when he fought Rider and he’d killed a hound for goodness’ sake, but I suspected his submission had been beaten into him and was going to be a hard habit to break.

Then, much to my surprise, he jerked his attention back up as if he’d suddenly remembered what I’d told him last night. “She’s safe and I’m fine. I still have half a shift of stable duty at the eighth bell and I’m hungry. Am I dismissed?”

From the set of his jaw, it was clear I’d have to push to get anything more from him and I didn’t want to push him. His spark had returned, but that didn’t mean it was here to stay.

That, and I needed to know what the hell was wrong with Quill, and I couldn’t demand answers in front of Sawyer. Quill was acting like a soul-bonded male with his sudden need to rescue Sawyer’s sister, which was impossible because she was human and they’d barely met.

“Yes. Go.” I took the practice sword from him and waved him off, watching him run out the door then turned to Quill. “What the hell was that?”

“Nothing.” Quill said, heading for the door as well.

I blocked his path and met his gaze, trying to figure out what was going on with him. “That wasn’t nothing. You were ready to leave the Gray without a second thought. You only met Sawyer’s sister briefly and she’s not fae so there’s no bond.”

“I know.” The look in his emerald eyes slid from frightened to grief stricken and confused. “I know,” he repeated as if hecouldn’t make himself believe it, then his shoulders sagged and he stepped close, pressing his forehead against mine, his breath feathering over my cheeks and lips. “She’s human. Her life is so short. She doesn’t even know me. And I can’t stop thinking about her. I’ve been trying all day and I can’t. Every time I look at the boy, I think of her… canseeher in him. Which is crazy. I barely got a look at either of them, but I know they’re siblings and I?—”

I dropped the practice weapons and wrapped my arms around him, holding him close.

“It’s a fascination. Not a bond,” I murmured against his jaw, more to convince myself than him. We both knew fae couldn’t bond with humans so what he felt wasn’t more than a sudden, shocking obsession, not a soul bond.

“I know it is, and yet—” His breath picked up. “I can’t seem to convince myself of that no matter how impossible it is.”

My throat tightened. It sure sounded like he’d fallen for her, and while it was rare, some fae men did fall instantly in love with their mates before the female even acknowledge them. Except that was only for bonded mates and bonding was only ever between fae.

So, what he felt was impossible. But he wanted a female mate so badly and knew in his soul that having one was impossible because he had no magic. He’d latched onto this human female in a desperate, probably unconscious need to fulfill his heart’s desire.

“She’ll break your heart,” I whispered.

And that would break mine. I loved Quill so deeply it hurt. It had taken me far too long to figure out how I felt about Quill and by then I’d spent years succumbing to the desire of the shadow trapped with in me. Just like it compelled humans to desire me, it compelled me to desire them— hell, to desire everyone. Human, fae, man, woman, it didn’t matter.

I’d slept with almost everyone who was interested because I had to and had convinced Quill and myself that what we had was casual. Just like the relationship a lot of fae men had with each other.

And then I’d realized the truth. That I was desperately in love with Quillandthat the shadow took something it needed from my sexual partners. I weakened them when we had sex, but I couldn’t ignore the compulsion to have sex, or I’d lose control of the monster inside me. And that could never be allowed to happen again.

But I knew Quill wouldn’t take bonding vows with me because he wanted a family and wasn’t ready to let go of that dream even though we both knew it was never going to happen.

Except falling for a human wouldn’t give him a family, either.

“Guess it’s only fair she breaks my heart,” he said, sliding his cheek against mine and burying his face in my shoulder, “because I think I broke hers by delivering her brother’s summons to the Gray.”

I clung to him, fighting the urge to turn the embrace into something more. He needed comfort. He didn’t need sex. Besides, we’d had sex last night in the Garden and I didn’t want to weaken him further.

“He said she’s safe,” I murmured into his hair.

My thoughts leaped to the ugly bruise marring Sawyer’s torso. I shouldn’t have just taken his word for it that he wasn’t hurt worse. A bruise that size and that dark indicated a serious beating. He might not have broken ribs, but they could be cracked. Still— “He’s better off here. He’ll get roughed up in practice and on duty, but he won’t be beaten just because.” And he certainly won’t be beaten because he was fae-touched. “Here he has a fighting chance. And by bringing him here, she got away, too.”

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