Page 76 of Enticed

“Is this what it’s going to be like every time we have a fight? You’re gonna take his side?” I sit up and shoot her a glare.

“No. But this time you were wrong, so yes—my loyalty lies with him,” she nudges me before we resume our position from before.

“I hope I can make it right, Liv. He is so pissed at me right now.”

“Yeah, the boy can hold a grudge. But he also has the biggest heart of anyone I know. And if he loves you the way I think he does, he won’t be able to stay mad for long.”

Her words make me smile as we stare at this new life in front of us—and it hits me. This is what life is about—building a future, a family, and being around those that you love. I don’t want any of it without Cooper by my side.

However, I let out a long sigh as I think about the mess I still have to clean up before we can get there.

I schedule an emergency meeting with Dr. Martinez the following Tuesday, hoping that she can help me understand everything that just transpired in the last seventy-two hours. I’ve come so far in the past few months, I can’t let this poor choice of mine derail the future I know now I definitely want.

“Clara, your text had me worried. What’s going on? The last we spoke, you and Cooper were on your way out of town for the weekend…” Dr. Martinez settles into her chair as I fidget on the couch across from her.

“Oh, Doc. I fucked up,” I let out a sigh as the tears come back to spill out of the corners of my eyes.

“Clara, you’re human. We all make mistakes. Tell me, what happened?” She listens intently as I recall the Fourth of July, the night at the hospital, and Cooper’s reaction to everything.

“Well, do you blame him for his reaction?” She finally asks, lifting her brow at me.

I shake my head. “Not at all. I would be livid too… I just don’t know why I let those insecurities get to me in that moment. I literally had the perfect opening to lay everything out there and I choked. I did the exact opposite of what I needed to do.”

“You did what everyone expected you to do…” she explains.

“Huh?”

Dr. Martinez sits up tall and places her notepad on the desk beside her chair. “You did exactly what everyone expected you to do or think or say… why do you think that is?”

I stare at her, not sure of what she’s getting at. “Uh, with all due respect, Doc, that’s what I’m trying to get you to help me figure out.”

“The answer is right in front of you, Clara. I’m askingyouto look deeper…”

Questioning what she’s saying, I ponder her intention. Why did I do and say what everyone expected of me? What was holding me back from putting the truth out there?

“Because I was afraid…” I finally whisper.

“Uh huh… of what?”

“Doing theunexpected… getting everything I wanted but no one knew I wanted, and then losing it.”

The truth hits me hard and I let the regret and fear swallow me whole. I had everything I desired in front of me—the man, my friends, the life I thought I’d never have. And when I finally had the chance to claim it, the thought of losing it all won out. I let Amy’s words be my excuse, but ultimately I have to take responsibility for that choice—because Amy’s opinion may have sparked the fear, but I’ve been looking for an excuse to run since the beginning.

“Yes. Fear is a bitch, Clara,” she says as I widen my eyes and start to laugh.

“Language, Doc,” I wink at her which grants me a chuckle and eye roll from her.

“Yeah, you’re one to talk,” she fires back through a grin. “So I guess the question is now, are you going to let that fear run your life?”

I shake my head enthusiastically, completely determined to make things right. “No. I’m done running, Doc.”

“Good. Now, you need to make things right with your friends, because if Cooper decidesnotto forgive you, you will need them more than ever. And then, you need to make Cooper see that you are serious about him… and I think you know exactly how to make that happen.”

“You’re not going to tell me, are you, Doc?”

“Now, that’s taking all of the fun out of my job if I do, Clara,” she says with a wink, leaving me to stew on my own on how to make things right.

Chapter 27

---