Page 30 of Secrets

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Well, when you were conceived while your half-brother's mother was dying of cancer, and then said brother makes it his mission to make your life a living hell for most of the time you're on earth, yeah, kind of. Plus, my father doesn't see me. I broke down and called him for help with my marriage, and he basically told me I know better and to fuck off. I'm paraphrasing, but it's how I interpreted the conversation."

Hannah raises an eyebrow, unsure how to interpret Lex’s flippant attitude as she describes her trauma. "Seriously?"

"Yep. And my father-in-law saw Colt's destructive path, but he didn't do anything. No one but the women of the club noticed I'd started disappearing until shit hit the fan. And then I became a traitor because I'd said I had enough. Then, of course, I got kidnapped and tortured for information, and here we are."

"And I thought my problems were bad."

Lex pats her arm. "If you ever need someone to remind you that things could be worse, I'm your girl. If it's not me directly, I know many other things about others in the club. Not here so much, but you'd understand."

Again, Hannah smiles. No, she more than smiles. She laughs. "I think I like you."

"Why don'tyoutellmewhat's going on?"

"It's pretty simple," she says with a sigh, smirking as she copies Lex. "I don't think I can forgive the club."

"For what? Getting locked up?"

If only it was that simple. "Yes and no. My best friend died when I was in jail, and I was in prison when she was buried. I can't forgive the club because I never got to say goodbye. I was a good old lady and did what I needed to for the club, and the past two years have been nothing but replaying what that cost me."

"I can relate."

"You got your happily ever after. I'm sure what you went through was tough, but-"

"Can you keep a secret?"

Maybe Idon'tknow what Lex has been through. "Better than you'd think."

"I know what you mean when you say you blame the club. I blame the club, too. When I was kidnapped and tortured, I was pregnant. Didn't know it, and I only found out when I went to the doctor for symptoms. It's really hard not to blame the club for it, even though I'm not sure exactly what caused it."

Hannah reaches out and takes her hand. "I'm so sorry, Lex."

"I don't know what it's like to lose someone without getting to say goodbye, but I know what you're feeling when it comes to resenting people you consider to be your family. I'm working through my shit, but I'm here if you need to talk about yours."

She knew Lex was someone she could talk to. "I just don't know what I'm going to do."

"What do you want to do?"

"I want to leave and never come back," she admits, her voice low. "If I had the means, I wouldn't have come here after I was released. Which, I think I have you to thank for that."

Smiling, she shakes her blonde curls. "That's the other Original Ten daughter-slash-old lady. Lily's the lawyer... I'm the muscle."

"No shit?"

"You'd be surprised," she says with a laugh. "You don't love Rocky anymore?"

"That's kind of a loaded question," she says, looking at the table. "I'll always love him. But I don't know that I can forgive him. It makes it hard to let that love in."

"Do me a favor?"

"Sure."

Squeezing her hand, Lex says, "Take some time to sit with your feelings. Don't try to rationalize them or justify them. Feel them and see if you can get past them. It's what I'm doing with mine, but our histories are a little different. But once you've had a chance to look within yourself and decide whether you can move forward and push past everything or not, we'll go from there."

"What do you mean?"

"If you still feel as though you need to leave, I'll help you get started and settled somewhere. But I see the love he has for you, and I want you to consider how rare that is. To have a man willing to fight through something like this with you to come outon the other side together. If you can really walk away from that and never look back, I'll get you the money to get you started."

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