Page 36 of Secrets

"Because she's just doing what I want instead of enjoying it."

"Now, come on-"

"She disappears when we have sex. She fakes her orgasms to make me finish, and then she lies stiff as a board if I try and hold her afterwards. Going down on her is impossible, and she'll push to finish me off with her mouth to avoid me being inside her. We used to have sex three times a day before this prison stint, and it's lackluster at best."

"You're sure she's faking it?"

Rocky levels him with a glare. "You can't tell when the woman you're inside of fakes it?"

"Never had a situation where they've had to, I guess. Especially Grace. There's a reason she always came back after we broke up, even after Sutton was born."

Closing his eyes, Rocky shakes his head. The last person he wants to hear about is Grace Lawson. The woman could infuriate a monk. He's glad she's no longer in Cannon's life, other than their twenty-three-year-old daughter. No one liked her, but fromwhat everyone heard, Cannon and she had amazing chemistry in the bedroom. It's actually the only place they seemed to find a way to get along.

"I wish I knew what to do, man."

Cannon nods and gives him a weak smile. "What does she say when you talk to her?"

"That I can't understand. That I don't understand, and she can't explain it to me. How can I understand if she doesn't tell me?"

"Women," he agrees and finishes the beer.

"I don't know how much longer I can take this, Can."

He nods and sighs. "I can't blame you. It's got to be frustrating."

"How long do I keep trying to get her to see how much I fucking love her? I've done everything I can think of, and nothing works. If anything, it does the opposite. I'm pretty sure she hates me, and it's why I didn't want her leaving for a week. I'm scared she's going to come home and tell me she's done."

"It's also hard if she won't tell you how to make things better, but how long you fight depends on how much you love her."

Narrowing his eyes, he glares at him. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"I'm not saying anything negative, Rock. But, okay, hear me out. We know what we're getting into when we join the club. And to an extent, our women know what they're getting into being with us, but it's not the same. What she signed up for and what she got are two different things."

"How do you figure?"

"We know that we're into some sketchy shit. Less sketchy than a year ago for us, but still sketchy. We do things that we know can and probably will get us locked up at some point. The women sign up to hold down the fort while we're on the inside, but they don't sign up to be the ones to do the time. Not for theclub, and Hannah did. That's gotta be some serious mental shit to deal with."

He'd never thought of it that way. Hannah did what she had to, but there was never a real thought that a woman of the club would find herself behind bars for them. He's been thinking about this all wrong, and he's pushing when he should be giving her space. But space scares him because he had years of space with her gone. The last thing he wants is space.

"You gotta do what she needs, not what you do," Cannon says as though reading Rocky's mind. "What you want and what she needs probably don't align right now."

"It doesn't help that she's stuck on the fact I hooked up with Dove while she was locked up. I don't think she believes I never brought her into our bed."

"Did you?"

Whipping his head to look at him, he gapes. "No!"

Standing, Cannon walks to the cooler and grabs another beer. "I don't want to be that guy, but I can kind of understand why she's bothered by you sleeping with someone else. Why she thinks you brought her home… that one I have no answer for."

"What do you mean? She was fucking locked up. I was supposed to be celibate?"

"Look, we have a prison clause and everything, but can you honestly say if the roles were reversed, and you got out to find out Hannah was fucking one of us, would you just be cool with it? Like, 'Oh, hey, hunny. Did Mac give you the time of your life as you rode him like a bull while I was locked up for killing someone for you? Let's go get dinner.'"

Tapping his foot, he sighs. "I'd be fucking pissed. But she cut me off! Stopped me from seeing her-"

"Dude, I get it. But you can't just expect her to understand and accept that you were with a bunny. She's hurt, and to her, it meant something. We both know it didn't to you, but she's not inthe right mind frame to understand that. To accept that. And we both know that a woman's emotions don't always fit with logic. In fact, logic fucking disappears when they're upset or pissed."

Rocky sighs and looks at the ground. "Can, I think she hates me."

---