What the hell happened?
He doesn’t lean into me, but he doesn’t push me away either. “Let’s wash you up. Okay?” I speak while pulling him into the en suite.
I position him so that he can place his hand under the stream while also resting his hip on the counter.
Locating the first aid kit, I pull out the items I think I’ll need to get him patched up and pay close attention to blotting his abrasions with cleanser. Right when I blot the knuckle of his middle finger with a soapy towel, he speaks.
“You need to leave, Winter. You need to leave me.” His words sound as if they take great effort to produce.
I snap my head up toward him.
“What? Why?”
He doesn’t look at me, choosing to close his eyes. “Because I’ll hurt you. I’m not a good person to be around right now.”
His words are like a battle cry in my psyche, and I feel them as they twist and contort and take on all kinds of meanings.
He doesn’t mean that.
I shake my head. He doesn’t mean that.
Taking in the sharp angles of his strong jaw and the way his dark hair curls over his eyebrow, I silence the drama in my mind and force a bright smile on my face.
“You won’t hurt me, Hunter Brigham,” I say the words with as much conviction as I can muster. I dry his cuts, putting bandages on the areas I can access.
“I know you won’t,” I add, not looking at his face. I kiss the back of his now-bandaged hand.
Rubbing his knuckles with my thumb, I say, “Do you want to talk about it?”
He doesn’t answer the question. Instead, he leans into the counter and tilts his head back like he’s looking at the expensive light fixtures above us.
“Do you want to talk about how you ended up a bloody mess or about the bombing?—”
“Go, Winter,” he presses.
Go, Winter.
The two words, three syllables, are like a stab to the heart. He wants me to...leave?
Air traps in my chest, and all sense leaves me as I do the opposite action of what he wants me to do. I bring myself closer to him.
Spinning. Spiraling. I’m losing...I’m lost.
No.
“You need to leave right now, Sunbeam.” His words are deep, bordering on a snarl.
No. No, I will not leave him. Not when he needs me.
He needs me. He needs me to stay.
And why won’t you honor his words, Winter?
“No,” I say, tightening my jaw and staring him down. I can’t. The thought is....
He growls in response. “Winter, do as I say.”
I swallow as terror nearly consumes me. He’s pushing me away—throwing me away for real this time. All my insecurities and fears and the things that haunt me at night come to a head.