Page 192 of Reverie

With a deep, put-upon breath, he says, “In her excitement, Ella let it slip on a video chat last night about everything that’s happened. So I got a call from Rio not too long ago that he was in Martinique…along with Veronica and Summer.”

I let out an unladylike snort to clear the snot, which makes my nose feel even more full. My silent tears turn into outright sobs.

“Really?” I squeak.

Hunter nods. “Veronica would really like to see you, Sunbeam. Is that okay?”

I nod because words are especially impossible right now, and he takes a step back into the hallway outside our room and waves toward the opening.

The first person I see is Rio, and he’s holding Summer. She’s grown so much even though she’s been gone only a short while, but when Veronica comes into view, I shift my gaze from my smiling niece and toward my friend.

I pray she’ll be my friend again. Veronica and I stare at each other for a long, long while. She looks…good. Like she’s slept more, and her skin is tanned with an overlay of gold to her naturally dark brown complexion.

When Ella stands and motions for Veronica to sit on the bed, I finally blink and I’m relieved that my best friend is still there, rather than a figment of my imagination.

“We’ll leave you alone,” Ella says, turning to Hunter. When she’s out of the room, Hunter mouths,She loves you. Just talk.

I nod and return my gaze to my hands where they wind and unwind in my lap.

The door snicks closed and after a few heartbeats of me staring down, a Kleenex box comes into view inch by inch. The staggered appearance of it is so funny that I can’t help the giggle that escapes when I pull a tissue from the container.

Thehonkfrom blowing my nose is loud in the spacious room.

Get it together.

Finally, I look up at my best friend, my sister.

“Veronica, I…” I search for the words to start with even though I know all the things I want to say are a jumble in my brain, but before I can pull out what I want to say first, Veronica launches herself at me and hugs me fiercely.

That causes a fresh wave of tears to appear.

“Fuck, Winter,” she says with a stifled sob. “Are you okay?”

For once in the last near day, I don’t resent the question.

“Physically, yes. Emotionally?” I suck in a breath and her familiar scent. “I’m so fucking sorry, Veronica,” I say. She tightens her hug for a long moment before letting go.

When she leans back and opens her mouth to speak, I stop her, putting my hand out between us.

“Let me say this,” I start.

Veronica hunches inward a fraction, putting one arm across her chest and lifting the other to bite her nail.

A new habit.

“I said some really shitty things to you, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said them, I didn’t really mean it, but my intent doesn’t erase my impact. I know I hurt you, and I am so, so sorry,” I continue. Her face moves through different emotions, but she stays silent, likely knowing that I need to spill all of this before I can move on.

Before we can move on.

Veronica is your sister. You can mend this.

“I know that all you’ve ever wanted was for me to be happy and healthy and whole and loved. And I know you fear for me in all of those areas because you’ve seen me when I was absent of all of those things.”

A tear falls down her cheek, and she wipes the moisture away with the heel of her palm.

“These last several months…I know you’ve seen a side of me that’s unfamiliar, that’s not at all the Winter you know. But the truth is, you don’t know the real me because up until now,Ididn’t know who I was. I was moving through life, pretending, but I wasn’t really…me. Whatever that actually means,” I say, and I feel myself starting to ramble, so I take another breath to center myself.

“I can understand that. Really, I can,” she says, her voice soft. But she gives me the floor again.

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