Page 106 of Hero for the Holidays

“Are you sleeping with her?” Justice asked.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

“Well, that means yes,” said Daughtry. “Because if it’s no, you’d just say that.”

“I’m not currently sleeping with her now.”

That was true. Just because they’d had sex the one time in the last thirteen years didn’t mean they were actively sleeping together.

“Something happened,” Denver said.

“None of your business. Also, since when do we do this sharing bullshit? I don’t like it. Cut it out.”

“As it turns out, you had a secret child that you didn’t tell us about. You’re on probation,” said Denver.

“I’m not on probation, you dick. I’m more grown-up than you. Than any of you. Not you,” he said to Arizona. “I’ve got responsibilities other than myself and this land. So I’m going to move in with Fia. So that I can spend the five years that I’ve got Lila at home actually in a home with her. We’re going to have family dinners and...” He realized he didn’t actually know what a functional family did. The Kings had done a pretty good job of assembling something that looked a little bit like one. It was what they tried to do every time they got together. Tried to make some new shape of a family. Because God knew they hadn’t had one growing up. But as he tried to reach for an image of all the things he wanted...

Well, they had something. They really did. And it was... It was good. They had the gecko, and they had stuffed animals. They had dinner together. Sometimes with his family, and sometimes with just Fia. They played card games. They were family. It was strange, the shift inside of him that felt a lot like inadequacy. It was strange to think you were doing well, and then feel like maybe you weren’t good enough. He wondered if that was fatherhood. Parenthood in general. The whole state of it.

Trying. Feeling like you were trying hard enough, even though you were giving all of yourself.

“Well, I guess we’re going to help you move then,” said Denver.

“No more objections?” Landry growled.

“I guess we have to let you fly from the nest,” said Justice.

“There’s nolettingme do anything,” he said.

“I’m proud of you,” said Denver. “Because you’re a better man than Dad ever was. And you’re sure as hell a better dad. Having Lila around has given all of us a chance to be better too. We can be good uncles. Even if we’re never going to be dads ourselves. You and Arizona are breaking the curse for us.”

“You never know,” said Landry. “You might find love yourselves yet.”

And he realized he let it slip. The way that he felt.

But it was true.

Always had been.

“Yeah,” said Denver, not looking convinced, but also clearly choosing to not dig out what Landry had just said. “Who knows. Maybe we’ll figure out how to hold it too.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

BEINGNEARFIAwithout touching her was torture. But at least it was familiar. That was what he told himself as he brought another box up the front steps and into the farmhouse at Sullivan’s Point.

If his dad could see him now. Changing his whole life for a woman.

Two females, in fact. His daughter and Fia.

His dad would think he was weak.

That made Landry all the more confident in his decision.

King’s Crest had been home his entire life. But it had begun to feel fractured these past few weeks. Because it wasn’t complete. Because he and Lila weren’t complete when Fia wasn’t there.

Lila had been thrilled about the move, which had been a huge relief to Landry. He knew that it might have added to that anxiety she had about instability in foster care, and that was the last thing he wanted. But the idea of having her parents together...

He had been quick to make sure she knew they weren’t together. Not like that.

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