Page 68 of Hero for the Holidays

“You too.” He looked at her for a while. “Our dad was really hard on Landry. He didn’t give him any quarter to make mistakes. To grow. I’m always amazed at how good he is. How smart. Because living the way that we did, it can kind of beat you down. It can make you doubt everything that you believe, about yourself and about the world. But you know, Landry just thought up this thing to rehab some of the buildings on the property, and to expand our business. That whole finding your niche thing. He thinks outside the box, and I actually think when you’ve been through what we have, it’s difficult to do that. Because growing up with a dad who criticizes everything you are puts your brain in a cage. It’s the best way I can explain it.”

“I get it.” She said that easily, but she knew that she needed to turn over exactly what he just said. “I mean, I do know him.”

He was right, about Landry. Landry was forward thinking and focused. He was smart when it came to improving the ranch.

When it came to their personal interaction, his brain had been stuck in a cage.

And she could understand why. He’d actually explained it pretty well.

But it made her wonder how much that was true of herself.

Because even though her parents had been different than their father, they had definitely created an environment where their emotions were more important, demanded all the attention.

It limited you.

It limited what you could imagine for yourself.

Just like when she had found out she was pregnant and all she could imagine was being her parents.

“Oh, I see headlights,” said Denver.

She knew that they were here.

She turned her focus to the door. And then, it opened.

“Surprise,” everybody yelled.

Lila’s eyes went round. “What’s this?”

Fia went over to the side table, where the cake was. “It’s a new birthday. Because we know that you didn’t have a great one this last year.”

Lila blinked seriously. “Oh. Thank you.”

“Of course.”

She stood there, and she wondered if Lila would hug her again. But she didn’t.

She wished that she would. But maybe she was too overwhelmed.

Instead, she shrank back, she clung to Landry, which made Fia feel heavy in her chest.

She knew she should just be grateful that Lila had somebody she could lean on. It didn’t feel that way. Not all the time. Not right now.

She had the terrible feeling that because Lila just came in the afternoon, Fia wasn’t the only one who occasionally felt like it might just be babysitting. Something temporary. Something less than actually being a parent.

It was Landry who started singing, and everyone joined in, and Lila looked brighter then.

They led her into the dining room, where all the food was spread out.

Daniel managed to take it from there, pulling Lila into the group.

Fia felt some of the tension in her chest ease.

But she still felt like she was having some kind of strange out-of-body experience.

Landry came over to her, and leaned in and whispered in her ear. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she said, turning to look at him. Their faces were closer than she’d realized.

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