Page 83 of Jay's Silence

“We can still try the wine, right?” Lux asked.

“I mean, he already made it.” I shrugged. “Everyone still listens to Mahler’s symphonies, and he was a Nazi. Can art be truly good or evil?”

Six pairs of eyes turned to me with varying degrees of horror while Cikku looked taken aback. It took me a moment to realize I’d called the phantom a Nazi. I patted my chest. “Marduk and I have a long history. He can be a vengeful god.” Cikku nodded. “My point was, your wine will speak for itself, regardless of Marduk’s influence, and I’m excited to try it.”

The man brightened again, leading us to a set of stairs which ended at his villa.

After being shown to a series of bright rooms with open windows and terracotta accents, I claimed one for myself and passed the fuck out.

Late afternoon found me healed, clean, and draped in a layered blouse of yellows, lounging on a sunny patio with a view of the vineyards and the sea as a sparkling backdrop. My dragons were still inside, and hopefully, they were napping better than I had. I assumed Caoimhe and Tenzin did the same.

On the other side of the patio, Cikku and his wife gave a wine tasting for a group of sunburned tourists. After a lovely presentation, I took a sip of crisp, acidic white wine with the group. Though unlike them, I sat alone and had no one to clink glasses with.

Fuck me, it’s actually delicious wine.

“I can’t believe you're drinking that!” Caoimhe said, sliding into the seat next to me in a simple white t-shirt and too-big shorts.

I rolled the stem of my glass between my fingers. There were so many ways to respond to Caoimhe’s anger: sympathy, remorse, or my own biting comment. But at the end of the day, she’d made her own choices. Just like I had, and she needed to deal with them.

I didn’t look away from the legs racing down the sides of the wine glass. “Wine is simple. It just exists. It’s not the wine's fault you made a deal with a devil.” I looked up from my glass, daring Caoimhe to argue with me.

Caoimhe squeezed her eyes shut before picking up my glass and taking the tiniest sip. “Are you going to say anything?” She asked.

I shrugged. “If a tiny sip of wine before your fetus is even the size of a bean will mess it up, then it’s gonna have a hard life.” I took my wine back. “If you’re looking for judgment, do some crack.”

Caoimhe blinked. “In the last week, I’ve found out I was pregnant, escaped an island only to end up in a prison. Escaped that only to wind up in a spider’s nest and escaped that to end up here.” She gestured around her. “A beachside winery that might still be a prison.”

I sipped my drink. “You’re doing pretty well, all things considered.”

We lapsed into silence.

“You really aren’t going to try and save my child, are you?” Caoimhe said. “I heard Rehan telling Tyson and Ogden it was priorities… getting out came first.” She swallowed. “But it wasn’t, was it.”

I took a deep breath. “You are both right.” I reached forward and put my hand over hers. “Magic has rules, you know this, and words have meaning. Marduk wasn’t wrong when he said a promise was a promise.” I squeezed her hand. “I still owe him my firstborn nine hundred years later. Even if I could give backthe power we bargained for, if my child comes into this world, magic will collect it, one way or another. It’s one of the many reasons I will never have a child.”

Tears filled Caoimhe’s eyes, and I reached forward, hugging her to my chest. The outburst was short, and after only a few sobs, she pulled back and wiped her face. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

I smiled at her. “That you wanted a family, to have kids, damn the consequences.”

She smiled back. “What did you trade for?”

“I’d bet anything; it was power,” Og pulled out a chair, Lux on his heels, and another bottle of wine in his hands.

The two shared an awkward glance before sitting on either side of me as if they needed to pretend I was still their focus. I’d been too subtle with Lux.

“It was power, right Jay?” Og pressed, reminding me he’d asked a question.

“Yea. It was power.” I grinned. “A big hit. And information long irrelevant at this point. But, like I said, I’d already given up my uterus. Kids aren’t what I need to feel fulfilled.”

So, then, what is, Jay?

Dragon dick.

Except you’re pushing that away too.

Og cleared his throat, looking expectantly at me to share my thoughts. I blushed so hard I swear I felt my skin burn and peel off.

“Hot out here, isn’t it?” I finished my wine, before pressing the cool glass to my cheeks.

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