Page 70 of Protecting Charity

“Thanks for the pep-talk, Chief,” I said, standing a little taller than when I had walked out a few moments before, and I meant it. He wasn’t a man of many words, but when he did speak, you tended to listen because it could be a profound moment in your life. This might have been one of those beneficial teaching moments.

“Not that it’ll do you any good. You aren’t the same Charity I trained all those years ago. You’re better.”

I shook my head to clear the shock. “I’m better? I’m a fucking mess, Randall.”

“I thought your emotion would only hinder you with your work, but I see now that I was wrong. It’s only strengthened you, and you are better than ever. You’re going to take that fury that will come from your grief, and you’ll use it to your advantage. You’ll see.”

Whatever fury he was talking about was nowhere to be seen. All that ate at me was misery and sorrow. I killed my brother, and I now understood that I was miserable and sad, not just because he was gone forever, but because I was the one that had to do it. How dare he do this to me? I crossed my arms over my chest and ground my teeth hard until my jaw cramped from the strain.

“Go back inside, I’ve got some things to settle up here.”

“Luca’s making pancakes.”

“I’ll be right in. Go.” He pointed towards the door, and I didn’t hesitate to obey.

I turned on my heel and joined the ruckus that filled my home. I didn’t have enough rooms to put up all of these people. Not that it mattered tomy guys. I always found them asleep on the couch, even though I had a full guest room.

Luca was laughing with Nico in the kitchen as he continued flipping pancakes while Max sat at the table with Liz, Alek, and Jake eating the spoils of Luca’s labor, something that I was ready to partake in seeing as my belly was growling for sustenance.

“Charity, here. I saved you a seat,” Max said, patting the empty chair beside him.

“I’ll be just a minute.”

I walked into my room and grabbed the black dress Nico bought me just for this day, and put it on. The lacy design reminded me of a Victorian-era style but was created for modern-day funerals and mourning. The sleeves ran to my wrists with tight cuffs. I looked in the mirror and grimaced at the fraud staring back at me.

How could I go stand before my brother’s grave and wear a dress like this? I ripped the dress over my head, mindful not to take the bandages on my arms with it, and threw it on the bed, then replaced it with shredded black jeans and a three-quarter sleeve sweater that had a zipper running from shoulder to the opposite hip. This was me, not some dress-wearing wannabe beauty queen. I pressed foundation into the bruises and cuts on my face the best I could, then nodded at myself with approval.

I strapped my long hair into a high ponytail and walked out to eat breakfast with the rest of them, feeling more and more like myself the closer the time came for us to leave, which was unexpected. As the time approached, I thought I’d become more withdrawn and cry more, but it was the opposite, and I think I was okay with that.

The conversation stopped as I came into view of everyone. Nico’s gaze dipped from my feet to my head. A smile burst across his face as he strode towards me and wrapped his arms around my waist, then laid a smoldering kiss on my lips that sent shock waves down between my legs.

“You look beautiful.”

“I couldn’t wear the dress. I’m sorry,” I said, giving him the courtesy to look him in the eyes as I told him his thousand-dollar dress wasn’t for me.

“This is much better.”

I smiled, which caused my cheeks to heat as I stood on the tips of my toes and kissed him back before grabbing a plate full of pancakes and a boat-load of syrup, then took my seat next to Max.

“Hungry?” Liz asked.

“Not particularly. Why?” I winked, letting her know I was kidding, then scarfed my face full of fluffy pancakes and downed it with orange juice as she chuckled.

“Alek makes me pancakes and waffles all the time. It’s sweet. I have to make sure I get there in time or Jake will eat it all.”

“Yeah, if he keeps making breakfast foods, I’m going to need to up my gym time,” Jake said while patting his stomach beneath the table.

Jake would get seconds or maybe thirds before we would even complete our first plate, and would still never run the risk of gaining an ounce of fat. I’ve watched him clear an entire fridge in an hour and still have room for more.

I laughed while looking around at the people in my home, and I finally understood the meaning of family. A group of people that came together to support me in my time of need. They were here for me, and that was more than I could say for my own flesh and blood. They were my family.

My mother still wouldn’t allow me to come around the house after Agent Harding pulled his bullshit at dinner, and Dad was keeping his distance for whatever reason that may be.

After the laughter died down from Jake’s jokes about his lack of pudgy belly fat and everyone had finally sat at the table, I made an announcement I thought long and hard about.

“I know the consensus has been that you will stand away from me to not link yourselves with me because of my father, but I’m telling you all now… I want you to stand by my side. You are the ones that are here when I need you the most, and I want those people to know who I’m with. The people that cared for me when it truly mattered. To my family.” I raised my juice glass.“Quando c’e` la famiglia, c’e` tutto.”

They raised their glasses, and we clinked together. Not one person protested my speech, which brought a joy to the surface I didn’t expect to feel. I thought at the very least someone would oppose it, mostly Luca, but he didn’t say a word. He actually nodded in agreement and smiled about my decision. I hated living in the shadows. Everyone that associated themselves with the Moreno Family could live their everyday lives. Why couldn’t I? Why did I have to hide?

---