“Yeah.” She took a breath. “Everyone thinks I’m lonely and forlorn and looking for love. When really, I’m lonely and forlorn and actively avoiding it.”
Brodie laughed gently. “Sounds like self-preservation.”
Except that she didn’t feel very well preserved. “Mm-hmm.”
“What if you chose someone you know well? Then it’s safer.”
Arran’s handsome face appeared in her mind, with his soft coily hair and warm whiskey eyes—calming her inner turmoil. “But if I choose someone I know and care about, then when it goes wrong, I’ll have lost something important and precious.” Despite having said those words aloud, she wasn’t sure whether they were for Brodie’s benefit or her own.
In any case, it was clear to her that there was unfinished business between Arran and Jess. That was why Jess had been calling all the time, keeping tabs on him. She must mistakenly think there was something going on between Liv and Arran, and it was bringing out her jealous streak. And no way did Liv want to play the third wheel there.
She absorbed the understanding in Brodie’s eyes, a little surprised that he wasn’t staring at her with his mouth agape. Would this be the way her loved ones would react if she confided in them? She imagined her mum looking at her with disapproval.“Don’t be negative, Liv.”
She shook her head. Everyone had their own shit going on. It wasn’t fair to moan to them about her problems.
“I get it,” he said. “Have you had any therapy?” He winced. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean for that to sound blunt.”
She smiled. “That’s okay. Kind of, a few years back. Just a bit of counseling. It helped me let go of Dave a bit, to realize his actions weren’t my fault. But I haven’t explored this relationship stuff in therapy.”
He nudged her hand. “Why not?”
She bit her lip. “I don’t know if I’m ready.”
He smiled. “Maybe one day you will be. Until then, I’ll keep your secret if you keep mine.”
“Thank you.” She let out a breath, a little nervous that she’d said more than she intended, but somewhat reassured that they were mutual secret holders. “By the way, this might be a small town, but it’s not small-minded. You can be yourself here. Especially with our friends.”
His smile broadened, lighting up his blue eyes. “Thank you. I’ll get there, sooner rather than later.”
Liv drained her drink and pointed to their glasses, and he nodded to indicate they should get another round. She gestured to the waitress that they wanted the same again, turning back to Brodie. “You should definitely tell Maya. She’s totally cool.”
“I know. It’s just that confiding in people I don’t know is somehow easier than confiding in those I do.” He gave her a meaningful look.
Liv smiled. “I’m with you on that one. And it was a bit hypocritical of me to advise that, when I haven’t ever told her as much as I’ve just told you.”
Brodie raised his empty glass. “Pending our refills, here’s a toast to new friends.”
Liv grinned. “New friends, and keepers of secrets.”
Chapter
Twelve
The hotel was modern andopulent, all glass surfaces and shiny floors. The room they’d been ushered into for afternoon tea was like something from an upscale Scottish stately home—mahogany tables and gray tartan chairs spiced with colorful cozy throws. Arran glanced across the table at his beautiful “date” and wished that this was a real date.
He bit his lip, wondering for the millionth time that week how Liv’s actual date with Brodie had been. This was their first meeting since then, and a few times he’d started to compose a text asking her how it’d gone but then had deleted it every time. He wanted to know, and yet he didn’t want to know. Plus he was aware of the need to play down his interest in the subject so as not to reveal his jealousy. He’d bide his time and find a way to bring it up in conversation.
He couldn’t stop thinking about that last outing to the photographer’s studio and how it’d felt to have her in his arms along with his son. They’d been in that position before, in the fort, but this time it had felt different, as if they were a real family, and he couldn’t help thinking she felt it too. He was sure Liv found him attractive and that they had real, intense chemistry, plus something more.Something special. And yet he still felt her keeping him at arm’s length. Why? And she’d gone on that date with Brodie. Had she been able to lethimin where she wouldn’t allow Arran?
Her green eyes were narrowed through the windows of her cute black-framed glasses as she watched him apply jam and cream to his scone, and for a moment, he was concerned that she knew what he was thinking.
“Why’re you looking at me like that?” he asked.
Liv’s face broke out into a smile, and it made his breath catch. “You put the jam on first. Thank God. Now we can bebestbest friends.”
He laughed, feeling relieved. “That’s your criterion for a best mate, Aggie? How they apply the condiments to their scone?”
She sniffed, lifting her cup. “Of course. ’Tis a most important test, Mr. Adebayo. Ms. Bashir has failed on multiple occasions, and now you shall take her place.”