Page 39 of The Fault Next Door

“You’re nothing but a piece of shit,” his mother’s voice wavered as she spoke. “The wreck that killed Amy was his fault.”

Her words lost some of the punch as doubt crept into her voice. He wouldn't let her get to him. He had to stay strong.

“Just go. I’m done with you,” Ryder said. He shouldn’t have moved back, but then he wouldn’t know Nolan.

"The Lord isn't done with you. You'll end up in hell because of your sins. We tried to save you, but you wouldn't do what we said. I always knew. I always knew," his mother cried out before stalking to her car.

The wake of her leaving left him feeling shell-shocked. Slowly, he turned to face Nolan. He hadn't searched the internet for information about Nolan because he didn't think it was necessary. The words his mother said twisted through his thoughts. The accident had killed and injured multiple people.

Amy had survived the initial impact. At least her heart had been beating. She'd been taken to the hospital and wheeled into an operating room. The general manager of the stadium had come out to tell him about the accident. He remembered dropping to his knees but not much more. Someone had driven him to the hospital, and he hadn't left her side. She'd fought hard, making him think she would survive. Crying, praying, and begging hadn’t helped. In the end, there hadn’t been anything he could do.

Three weeks after the accident, he watched as she slipped away. The strength to look up information about the other people in the crash had escaped him. His own grief had been too thick to contemplate theirs.

The world had moved on, and he’d tried like crazy, but he couldn’t. That’s how he’d ended up back here.

Now he was staring at Nolan, his thoughts jumbled. Had their spouses died in the same wreck? Had his husband caused the wreck? It seemed way too coincidental to be real.

Worry swam in Nolan’s eyes. What if it was true?

“How did Andrew die?”

Nolan swallowed hard and then met his gaze, sadness filling his eyes. "A wreck. In Atlanta. The vehicle he was driving lost the front tire."

Ryder felt like his insides had hollowed out. His brain buzzed as pain filled him. He hadn't wanted to know the details, hadn't wanted to hear who had been driving. He let the lawyers take care of all of that. It had been a US military vehicle. In the end, the money he got had gone to pay Amy's hospital bills for the time she hung on. Even with great insurance, he owed a mountain of money that took everything. Then, he'd not been able to work for months, and he'd still had bills. They could afford the house because both of them had income. In the end, with the housing market crash, he had just enough left to pay for moving expenses and to put a down payment on this house.

Now he was here in this shit town, working at a place that was just okay, having to deal with his homophobic meddling mother, and now this. Was this man's husband the one who'd killed his wife?

How could any of this be real?

He tried to breathe, but it seemed too difficult, as if his lungs didn't want to work. He met Nolan's gaze, and the feeling of betrayal shifted through him. The pain made everything feel icy cold, like someone had put an ice pack on his back and chest.

“Oh God,” Ryder groaned as all the pain came back.

Nolan looked miserable, like he was suffering, too. Could Nolan's suffering even come close to his? His husband had been driving the vehicle that caused so much pain and devastation.

He couldn't deal with this. Breathing in the air felt too painful. His mind fuzzed.

Somehow, he made it back to his house and was inside. He stumbled to the bathroom and threw up the coffee he’d drank before his mother had ruined everything. How did he not know that Nolan’s husband had killed Amy?

Anger splashed with confusion. It had been a freak accident, but deep down, he’d always wanted to blame someone. Now he knew who’d been driving the truck and who had caused hisgreatest pain. The pain needed to end. Bile rose as revenge took root. His head spun, and his heart shattered. What was he doing?

Chapter 28

Nolan didn't knowwhat to do. He knew Andrew had been driving, but the military had ruled that it hadn't been his fault. There were records showing that he'd checked the vehicle before getting inside and driving. From what he understood, no one would have been able to determine that the wheel would fall off. It really had been a freak accident that the bolts holding the wheel to the vehicle had sheered off, and the wheel had gone flying.

Now, he was living next door to one of the people who'd lost someone. How was that even possible?

Guilt filled Nolan. He was supposed to have been in Atlanta that week but had decided to stay at home. If he’d been there, maybe Andrew wouldn’t have been driving.

The pain of losing Andrew had taken so much out of him. He'd tried to move on, tried to keep his head above water, but in addition to everything else, this was too much. It felt like all the pain and anger were coming back in full force, threatening to overwhelm him.

Maybe this was what he deserved.

The days and weeks after the crash had been filled with the pain of loss. He’d always believed himself to be logical enough to handle loss, but when it had happened to him, he’d lost it. Unable to come to terms with what happened, he’d stopped paying attention to everything else. Even now, thinking of the pain Andrew had suffered hurt too much.

Nolan glanced at Ryder’s house. He should go over and talk to him. How much time had passed since Ryder had stumbled away? A minute, ten minutes? He hadn’t even tried to stop him.

Slowly, Nolan made his way over to Ryder’s place, worry swirling with pain. His wife and Andrew had died in the same wreck. The tire had come from Andrew’s vehicle. Grief didn’t think logically. Grief couldn’t reason that Andrew wasn’t really at fault.

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