Page 50 of Luke

Nine

Almost twenty people, including guests and staff members, showed up in the living room for Luke's movie. They had set up a player to stream movies to a big screen on the wall, with cozy couches and armchairs arranged for comfortable seating. Shari had put out not only several varieties of popcorn but also brownies, a fruit plate, and pitchers of lemonade.

Liz had gotten Kaitlyn to come, and she was sitting next to Julie Harrison, looking probably as happy as Liz had seen her in a while. She just needed to make sure that when the lights went out, Kaitlyn didn't disappear with the boys.

Before starting the movie, Brad introduced Luke and asked him if he wanted to say a few words.

Luke stepped to the front of the room, and Liz couldn't help the little thrill that ran down her spine. He'd changed out of jeans and T-shirt and wore slacks and a button-down shirt tonight. His beard was neatly trimmed and his handsome face and dark-brown eyes compelled the attention of everyone, including her.

"The movie you're about to see," Luke said, "was shot across five continents and ten countries. The people you'll meet are just like you. They might not speak your language, but they're living their lives just as you do: working jobs, going to school, raising families, and struggling to find meaning in their worlds. On their days off, they pursue passions that push them to the limits. Why do they do this?" He paused for a moment. "It's because they're afraid."

Goose bumps ran down her arms at his words. Was he talking about the people in the film or about himself?

"You might not believe that they're afraid when you watch them clinging to the face of a sheer rock wall thousands of feet above the ground or launching themselves out of a plane," Luke continued. "But they are. It's just not what you think of as fear. They're not afraid of falling or even of dying. Well, maybe some are, if they're smart," he added with a laugh. "But what they're really afraid of is that they'll let fear stop them from reaching for the stars. It's fear that they won't try hard enough to live up to their potential, to try as much as they can, to experience everything a human being can feel. You'll see amazing stories, and not all of them are triumphant, but we learn as much, if not more, from the failures. I hope you enjoy taking the journey with them as much as I did."

Luke's words resonated deep within her. Luke wasn't just chasing something he couldn't quite catch; he was worried that he wouldn't live hard enough, wouldn't be all that he was supposed to be. But would he ever feel satisfied with what he'd already done, the amazing things he'd accomplished so far?

She really hoped so.

Luke stood against the back wall as the movie played. She was acutely aware of his presence for the first few minutes, but then she got caught up in the storylines. Luke didn't just show himself and other thrill seekers jumping off cliffs; he started on a more personal level. He showed them at work, at home with their families. He talked to them about their dreams, their fears, their flaws. Sometimes he went with them on their adventures, a participant as well as a cameraman. Other times, he hung back; he let them have their own moment to succeed or fail.

As the film played, she experienced as many emotions as the people she was watching and judging by the entranced silence in the room, she wasn't alone. When the lights came on, she felt as exhausted and exhilarated as the climbers reaching the summit of Mt. Everest.

Luke was immediately swarmed with people offering amazed thanks and congratulations.

Liz was happy to see that Kaitlyn and the boys had stayed, although she realized she'd been so caught up in the movie she probably wouldn't have seen them leave.

Shari came up next to her. "So, can I just say wow? That man is a super stud. And you let him go?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," she said with a wistful sigh. "But now, I can't even remember why I thought that."

"Maybe he's improved with age," Shari said with a smile.

"I think he definitely has."

"I'm going to head up to bed, but before I go I wanted to ask you about tomorrow—about Kelly's birthday. How do you want to handle that with Kaitlyn? Do we talk about it? Do we ignore it? Do we celebrate? I don't know what the right thing is to do."

Looking into Shari's troubled eyes, Liz didn't know, either. "I feel like whatever we do it will be the wrong thing. I think we just need to follow Kaitlyn's lead."

"So we're ignoring it."

"I think so. Lately when I bring up Kelly, Kaitlyn goes on attack, telling me I was a bad sister… I know anger is a normal part of the grieving process, but how long does it go on?"

Shari gave her a sympathetic smile. "As long as it does."

"That's not helpful."

"I don't have any easy answers; I wish I did. Watching what you've been going through with Kaitlyn is making me worry about what's in store for me with this baby. You never think about what your child is going to be like at thirteen."

Liz smiled. "You have plenty of years to get through before then. And you'll be a great mom. I have no doubt about that."

"You're doing a good job, too, Liz. You've been a stand-in mother for six months, so give yourself a break. Deep down Kaitlyn loves you, even if right now she's not willing to show you."

"I love her, too, even when she's making it really, really hard." She paused. "Go, get some rest. And tomorrow we amp up the search for a new chef."

"I'm ahead of you. I have someone coming in tomorrow morning to work with me through the weekend. Her name is Val Marlow, and she has excellent references. She's been a sous chef in San Francisco for five years. Most importantly, her boyfriend is now working in Yosemite, so she's looking to relocate to this area, and a job here would be great for her."

"I'm so happy to hear this. You know your job will be waiting for you when you're ready to come back, but I think taking a few months for yourself and the baby is important."

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