Page 53 of Death and Do-Overs

All of Nie, all of Mar, all of as many of us as there could be, would always be mine. We were all Marnie.

Last time there had been two distinct sets of memories, the ones from the living Marnie, and the one from the dead version. It was as if I’d lived them both. This time, the flashes didn’t tell a cohesive story. They didn’t feel like a set of memories. They felt like violently glowing moments plucked like stars from an otherwise pitch-black sky.

Fire and ice warred within my veins. An electric storm burst through my nerves.

My entire body felt like it was being struck with every single emotion, every sensation, all at the same time.

A moment or an eternity later, the storm dulled, just enough for my brain to kickstart.

I forced myself to breathe, forced myself to blink.

The world came back into focus.

Imogen’s face was hovering over mine.

I was lying on a bed.

“Speak to me,” Imogen pleaded. She shook my shoulders.“Mar.”

I tried my mouth, to see if it would work. My tongue felt too thick. But I managed to sound surprisingly normal as I said, “Hi.”

“Thank goodness. I thought you died.” Imogen let out a long, coffee-scented breath that tickled my cheek.

“All evidence suggests otherwise.”

She dropped down on top of me and squeezed so fiercely it felt more like an attempt at suffocation than a hug.

I pried my arm out from under both of us and patted her on the back. “There there. Now let me up.”

She popped up and grinned at me, wiping her wet cheeks. I’d made her cry. I didn’t want to make her cry.

“Sorry,” I said, even though that was not a word or sentiment I was generally accustomed to expressing.

“I’m just so glad you’re all right, Mar.”

Tears of…relief? I didn’t understand her at all.

“Marnie,” I said.

My head pounded, the color of the room undulating with every pulse.

“Okay, Marnie. What happened?” Imogen asked. “This was way scarier than when you just looked shocked the last time you absorbed your copy. This was like you had a seizure while falling off a cliff in space with nothing to hold onto and no air to breathe.”

That was about how it had felt, too. But what happened to me exactly?

“I don’t know,” I said.

“Do you have Nie’s memories? She disappeared, so you should remember what she remembered. Right?”

“I…” When I tried to focus on the flashes, my head pounded harder. “I need a shower. We’ll talk after, okay?”

“A shower in the undrinkable water?”

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

“Okay,” Imogen said, a look of concern lining her features. “Yeah, sure, of course. And while you do that, I’ll check in with the crew, and of course with Brock. Maybe he found something useful in the background checks.”

I made a noncommittal noise and started toward the bathroom.

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