Page 4 of Ethan's Sky

I hear the hiccup in his breath. It’s not every day your kid tells you they’ll visit your grave, but I want him to know I won’t forget them.Ever.

“I love you, Skyler. With everything I am.”

The phone clicks. I stare at the burner in my hand, my feet stuck to the floor.

My chest hurts. My eyes burn. I feel sick to my stomach. I want to fall to the ground and pray it’ll swallow me up and take me too, but I know it won’t.

It takes several deep breaths and strength I didn’t know I could possess to get up.

Wiping away my tears, I’m up off the bed, determined to get my shit and do what my father’s asking of me.I have to.If he’s going to sacrifice himself, I’m going to get through this and do what he has always wanted me to.

I’m going home.

Two hours later, I’m pulling up to the dock at the back of our old summer house on the lake. We haven’t visited here since my senior year in high school. It’s the last place I remember feeling truly happy.

I know I’m supposed to go to the clubhouse, and I will. It’s on the same property, about thirty minutes or so down the road, but I’m not ready to be there yet. I need some time to pull my shit together before I face what awaits me there.

I walk out to the edge of the dock and sit down cross legged and watch the water ripple as the bugs land on top. It smells like oak trees and honeysuckle. It’s peaceful.

Tears are streaming down my face, but I don’t try to stop them. I know I need to be strong and face this situation head on, and I will. But I need a little time to cry, scream…fuck I don’t know…feel.A luxury I don’t usually allow myself.

Once I leave this spot, my past is going to come charging back into my life and if I don’t have my armor on, my walls up, Iwillbreak. And I can’t.

Never again.

I’ll brace myself for the shit I’m bound to have to take when he sees me.Ethan.

Hopefully seeing me doesn’t crush him. Lord knows, I’ve done enough damage.

He’s going to be pissed when he sees me. Hell, pissed isn’t even remotely close to how I expect he’ll feel. He still blames me for leaving him when his sister died. He assumed I knew something about it and ran away. He blamed me for the bastard who drugged and raped her getting away. He knew I would know what really happened to Emily.

But I couldn’t tell him.

If I did, then I’d have to tell him what I did, and that shit can’t happen.

Holding my knees to my chest, I let it all go. All my anger, my frustration, the pain of losing my father…all of it. My chest feels like it’s on fucking fire as I gasp for breath. My eyes burn. I wish like hell it was me and not Daddy those bastards took out. I know it’s irrational, but without him…what the hell do I have left?

I hear the rumble of the motorcycle and nearly fall off the fucking dock jumping to my feet, pissed I don’t have more time. I didn’t think anyone would look for me out here. As soon as he removes his helmet, I know how he found me.

Cash always finds me.

He’s almost made it to the docks when I shout, “How the fuck did you find me?”

He smiles his all-knowing, smart ass grin. “You once told me this was the only place you truly felt happy. I don’t know how many times you shared memories of coming here whenever you needed a place to relax, find peace after your mother died. Or how you and your best friend would spend every free moment here when you weren’t in school. And then I remembered, you once told me this was the last place you and your dad spent time together before everything went to shit and you came to Mountain Heights.” He shrugs. “I did the math. Figured you’d go wherever you could feel him again.”

He opens his arms, and I don’t hesitate. I slam into his chest and let myself go.

He doesn’t say anything, just holds me tight, resting his chin on my head and lets me cry. If there’s ever been anyone in my life I could fall apart around and not worry about judgement, it’s Cash.

He’s my self-designated big-brother-slash-pain-in-the-ass-bodyguard-bestie. He came up with the title all on his own. I call him my pain in the ass, figuring the term encompasses it all.

He was there the night I arrived at the Mountain Heights clubhouse. He had just been patched in and was given the chore of watching over me while Eli and Gabe settled my arrangements. Cash was there when I was at my worst. He didn’t leave my side for the first few weeks unless Eli sent him on an errand, and even then, he would take me along if he could.

I confided most of my secrets to him. Well, the ones I could tell, anyway. He knows me probably better than anyone, or themeI am now. He helped me get stronger. Fight my demons. He and a few of the others taught me how to fight, use a knife, even how to shoot a gun. I was determined to never feel weak or let anyone hurt me again, and they helped me regain my strength and protect myself.

“Shh, Sky. You’re okay, babe. I’ve got you,” he soothes as I continue to cry and get what I’m sure is an embarrassing amount of snot on his shirt, but I don’t give a shit. I need this.

“He’s gone, Cash. He knew he was going to die and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to help him.” I sob, his arms hold me tighter.

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