Page 74 of Jake's Angel

“Smartass, sexy bikers, with archaic beliefs and gruff personalities?”

He throws his head back and laughs. “Something like that.” Jake brushes a stray hair from my face. “Hope you don’t find all my brothers sexy. It would crush Hawk’s ego to be lumped in with everyone else.” I drop my eyes to the ground to hide my smile.

“Hawk is more Sadie’s speed than mine. I prefer talking penises, apparently.” He chuckles softly.

We’re silent for a moment, and I feel the second the air between us shifts and the mood feels heavy.

Lifting my chin with his finger he says, “The day Maggie died, I was there. We got there after everything had happened.” He takes a deep breath and releases my chin. Looking to collect his thoughts.

“Mom got a call that there had been an accident and they needed her to come help Pop. When we arrived, Pop and Gabe were pulling Maggie from the front of the car and laying her out on the road. I’ll never forget the look on his face. I still see it in my dreams sometimes. He was lost, completely broken, and helpless. I was only a kid then, but even I could see it. His woman was his world, and she was laying there completely lifeless in his arms.”

Jake starts picks at the grass. His eyes focused on his task. I’m watching his fingers as he twirls and pulls the blades, wishing I could see what’s going on behind his eyes, but they’re still hidden behind his sunglasses.

“Mom helped get you out of the back seat and cleaned you up. I watched as she put you in Gabe’s arms and he held you to his chest as he cried.” Jake looks up at my face, wiping the stream of tears trailing my own cheeks.

“Gabe was torn between holding his lifeless wife, or his crying daughter. You brushed Maggie’s hair away from her face and tried to wake her. I watched while Gabe tried to explain to you why Maggie wouldn’t wake up, but you were too young to understand.” He pauses for a minute, looking back to the gravestone.

I wish I could see his eyes.

“Me and Mom took you and Jayde with us to a cabin the club owns out near the lake. It’s hidden off the main roads. I watched over you two girls while Mom made food for us and made all the necessary phone calls. You were quiet, shy, didn’t want to do anything but sit on my lap. My guess is you were probably in shock.” Jake picks another handful of grass and releases it. Heturns his face to meet mine again and says, “I couldn’t put you down. I held you while you slept through the night until Pop came to get you the next morning.”

The air grows thick around us. I can feel tension and anger rolling off Jake’s taut body.

“Pop said he was taking you to Gabe because they needed to have you checked out at the hospital. Precautions and shit. He left with you in the back of the SUV, and I never saw you again. The next night, Gabe called the family together and told everyone you had died at the hospital. We were told you had internal bleeding and when the doctors tried to fix it, it was already too late. You’d lost too much blood and died on the table in the operating room. One week later, we were all gathered here, lowering two caskets into the ground.” He moves me off his lap and stands to his feet to pace, running his hands through his hair.

He stops only a foot away from where I’m still seated on the ground, staring up at him.

“I didn’t understand how you went from being perfectly fine sleeping in my arms to being gone in a matter of hours. It didn’t make any sense! You were curled up in a ball, clinging to my shirt, breathing just fine as you slept on my chest!” He growls angrily. “I was so pissed ateveryone! My mom’s a nurse. How could she not see there was something wrong with you? How could she miss something like losing blood? There would’ve been signs we should’ve seen, right? I was a fucking kid! I didn’t know what to look for. She’s the nurse, and she should’ve known to tell them to take you to the hospital instead of to the fucking cabin, but we were just following orders. Then … in the blink of an eye, you were gone.”

He stops shouting, turns to me, dropping to the ground, cradling my face in his hands. His glasses fall to the groundwith the sudden jolt of him hitting his knees. So much pain and frustration are staring back at me in his beautiful blue eyes.

“I swear to God, Angel, if I thought something was going to happen to you, I never would’ve let them send you home with me. I never would’ve let anything happen to you.” He whispers, laying his forehead to mine.

My heart breaks for Jake. For the little boy inside of him who’s carried all the anger and guilt for a death that never even happened. He thought hewas somehow to blame for my alleged death. Holding onto guilt for something that wasn’t even fucking true. He’s been holding onto remorse for a lie.

My father’s lie.

I make a promise to myself to unleash all my pent-up anger on my father when I get the chance. For now, I need to put all my focus on the man in front of me. He’s hurting because he thought he hurt me.

I place my hands on either side of Jake’s face, shoving him back on his ass. I straddle him once again, not wanting him to move away so he’ll hear me. He closes his eyes.

“Look at me, Jake.” His eyes pop open and meet mine. “You were a boy.Noneof this was your fault. I didn’t succumb to any injuries in the accident. I didn’t die. I’m here.” I put his hand to my heart and let him feel it beating. “I’m right here, Jake. You did nothing wrong. You held me and kept me safe. You took care of me. Which is more than I can say about anyone else in my life.” His brow creases, but I stop his questions with a finger to his lips. When I’m sure he won’t speak, I move my hand to his cheek again.

I don’t elaborate on what I’ve said. He doesn’t need to know the demons I’ve faced living with my grandmother. It would only hurt him more to know what I’ve been through.

“Whatever happened after the night in the cabin is not your fault. You know that, don’t you?”

There’s a crackle of electricity between us, and suddenly his lips are on mine. His hand goes to my hair, pulling it loose. The other hand wraps around my waist, pulling me closer to him. My hands fall to his shoulders as he devours my mouth with a ferocity I never knew existed. He takes advantage of my shocked gasp, invading my mouth with his tongue. He tastes of coffee and trouble, but I can’t stop myself from enjoying every second of it.

Jake moves to my ass rocking me forward. I moan into his mouth. Embarrassed, I try to pull back, but Jake’s quick to grab my head and hold me in place.

“I love the little noises you make, Angel. It lets me know you like what I’m doing to you.” His mouth becomes more urgent. His hand on my ass squeezes harder, pressing us together. I can feel his hardness pushing up against the seam of my shorts, causing a tingling sensation at my core.

His other hand gripping my neck moves my head to the side as his lips descend down my throat, across my jaw and back to my lips again. My mind is a garbled mess. I can feel the wetness pooling between my legs.

Unfamiliar with the sensations Jake is causing in my body, I begin to feel frustrated. I start squirming in his lap, needing something, but I’m not exactly sure what—just more. This fluttering sensation, the heat I feel in my core, it’s all new and intoxicating to me. But I feel like there’s something missing.

Jake chuckles against my throat. “You need to come, Angel? You going to be a good girl and show me what you look like when you fall apart for me?”

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