Page 70 of Dark Bonds

The alarm on Tori’s phone chirps insistently, and I swat at it blindly, nearly knocking it off the nightstand that rests between our beds.

Somehow, Tori sleeps through it.

“Five more minutes,” I mutter to no one in particular, my voice a mixture of exhaustion and defiance.

I know I can’t afford five more minutes though. Professor Blackwood’s class starts at eight sharp, and he has zero tolerance for latecomers.

I force myself to sit up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. At least he’s fine with coffee, because at this point, I’m going to need a gallon of it.

As I shuffle to the bathroom, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. There are dark circles under my eyes, and my hair is a tangled mess. I look like death warmed over. For a moment, I hear Valerie’s voice in my head, chiding me for my unkempt appearance.

It’s still hard for me to look in the mirror and see myself and the weight I’m slowly but surely gaining. I don’t know if anyone else has noticed it, but I have. Every damn day, I have to remind myself that this is what healthy looks like.

Not only that, but I have my suspicions about that whole ordeal as well. I lost my connection with my shadows when she told me I wasperfect.

There’s no way that’s a coincidence.

I shake it off, splashing cold water on my face. The shadows in the bathroom corner seem to recoil, as if the water offends them.

Great, now even the darkness is judging me.

“You’re not there anymore,” I remind myself, my voice a quiet mix of determination and lingering fear. “You’re free now.”

I’ve learned freedom, however, comes with its own set of challenges. Having no one telling me what to do, what to eat, or how to dress is liberating but also terrifying. Sometimes I find myself longing for the structure and certainty of life with Valerie, but then I remember the cost of that certainty, and I shudder.

I brush my teeth and attempt to tame my hair into something presentable. As I’m finishing up, Tori finally stirs.

“Morning,” she mumbles, her voice thick with sleep. “What time is it?”

“Time for you to get your ass out of bed,” I reply, tossing a pillow at her. “I have Blackwood in twenty minutes, and you have psych.”

Tori groans dramatically, but I can see her starting to move. She used to be a morning person until this semester, and I suspect it’s because she doesn’t have to deal with Amanda or Chloe anymore.Lucky her.

I pull on a pair of leggings and an oversized sweater over my uniform—comfort over style. As I’m lacing up my boots, Tori emerges from the bathroom, looking far more put-together than I feel.

“I need to go because I need coffee from the cafeteria,” I say, finishing lacing my boots and grabbing my backpack that seriously looks like it’s about to fall apart.

“Lunch?” Tori’s jaw cracks as she yawns.

“Yeah, sure,” I reply, slinging my backpack over my shoulder. “Meet you at the usual spot?”

Tori nods, already rummaging through her closet for something to wear. I hesitate at the door, a familiar anxiety creeping in. It’s stupid, I know, but part of me still expects Valerie to be waiting outside, ready to critique my every move.

I take a deep breath, reminding myself once again that I’m safe now. With a final glance at Tori, I head out into the hallway.

I half expect to see Leo with a steaming cup of coffee, and I’m mildly disappointed when he isn’t there. His annoying cheerfulness might actually be welcome right now.

The campus is just starting to come alive as I make my way to the cafeteria. Students shuffle along, most looking as zombie-like as I feel. The line for coffee is long, but I don’t care. I need the caffeine if I’m going to make it through Blackwood’s lecture without falling asleep or accidentally unleashing my shadows in a caffeine-deprived haze.

As I wait, I find myself scanning the crowd, searching for familiar faces. Not Valerie’s—I know she’s not here—but maybe Amanda’s or Chloe’s. It’s been days since I’ve seen either of them, and I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or not.

With my coffee in one hand and a bagel in the other, I head to class.

I drag myself into the dimly lit classroom for Blackwood’s class. As I slump into my seat, I notice the shadows around me seem more active than usual, swirling and dancing at the edges of my vision. It’s been happening more often lately, and I’m not sure if it’s comforting or creepy. They seem to reach for me, like hungry things seeking sustenance.

I resist the urge to swat them away.

My classmates file in, and I can’t help but catalog their expressions. Some look as zombie-like as I feel, while others have this unnervingly alert gleam in their eyes.

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