Page 95 of Forever Home

And that was the hard part. Accepting that she is right about that.

There is still so much in the world I want to see and experience, and at twenty-eight years old, I’ve barely done anything with my life. But the fear of leaving Willowcreek, of leaving my mother, hangs so heavily on me that I don’t know what to do anymore.

“I don’t know what to do, mom.” I finally admit when she pulls back to look at me. “I feel like I’m missing something, but I don’t know what it is.”

“Well, why don’t you pick a place and go there? Anywhere you want to go… go experience it. Start the cake business you’ve always wanted.”

“What?” I gasp, wiping the tears from my eyes. “I can’t… the bakery takes a lot of work and I can’t leave you—”

Holding up her hand, she stops me in my tracks. A concerned gaze crosses her face as she seems to take a moment to collect her thoughts. “Is that why you’ve never gone anywhere all these years? Because you’re worried about me and the bakery?”

“Well, I mean, of course.” I reply as if it’s a stupid question. “You need me here. I don’t want to leave you. The two of us have to stick together.”

“Madison,” she sighs, shaking her head once more. “I never wanted that for you. I’m happy to have you here working with me, sweetie. But I want you to live your own life. I have never wanted you to put your dreams on hold for me. I’m quite capable of running this place by myself and hiring help if I need it. I mean, I did perfectly fine when you were in New York.”

She does have a point, and hearing her voice it out loud only makes me cry harder. All I ever wanted to do was to take care of her and help her with the dream she had. Even if that meant putting my life on the back burner. I don’t regret what I did, because it made our relationship only that much stronger. Not to mention, the amount of things I learned from working beside her.

But she’s right. I have put my life on hold, and I still have so much to experience. Life isn’t going to stop for me to catch up on everything I’ve missed.

“I don’t know what to do,” I finally stutter between sobs.

Slowly, my mother reaches into her apron pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper. Her eyes glistening slightly as she takes a deep breath and meets my gaze again. “So, a long time ago… you’re father wrote something for you. I was supposed to wait to give it to you on your wedding day, but I think he would want you to have this now.”

My heart all but stops at the realization of what she’s saying. For years she has held onto a letter that my father wrote me. A man that I don’t remember but have yearned for since I was old enough to understand that he is gone. With trembling hands I take the folded piece of paper from her outstretched hand and hold it within my fingers.

Every part of me wants to rip it open and tear into the words that he wrote so many years ago. But I can’t help but feel scared to do so. As if reading this will be a final moment in a chapter of my life I haven’t wanted to close. A chapter that makes his death all that much more real.

Taking a deep breath, I force the uneasiness within me aside and unfold the paper to admire the sleek black ink that swirls across the page in my fathers handwriting.

My darling Madi,

Life is not simple.. It’s messy, and chaotic,and completely perfect… so use all the ingredients life has to offer, and create the perfect recipe to your ownhappiness. I’m so proud of you, my sweet girl. I’m sorry that I’m not able to be there for you on your special day, but know that I’ve always been with you. Every step of the way through your life, I’ve been there. Watching you and cheering you on despite the obstacles that you’ve been faced with. And I will continue to be there no matter where life takes you. I love you, more than anything. And I always will.

Love,

Your father

Tears flow down over my cheeks like a rushing waterfall. My heart shattering at the words upon the paper. All these years, I’ve wondered what it would have been like to have him by my side, and he was there—in spirit.

Lifting my gaze to my mother once more, I take note of the tears that flow down her cheeks as well. Their love was stronger than anything, or so much grandmother used to tell me before she passed away and for most of my life that’s what I too have yearned to have.

A love that lasted a lifetime, no matter the distance between us.

“It’s ok to go, Madison. Leave Willowcreek. Seek Adventures. Live your Life. Fulfill your dreams. A mother’s dream is for their daughter to be happy, that’s what brings me happiness as well. Know that you're not leaving me, and I know that you never will. I have loved our adventures together, but now it’s time for you to have your own.”

As much as she’s telling me to go and I want to, I can’t help but wonder if it’s too late for me to have a love like her and my father did. If it’s too late to fix things with the only man who's ever made me feel complete. “I don’t know if that’s even possible anymore.”

“Why do you think that?”

Shrugging my shoulders, I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand and fold the letter once more. “It might be too late… I was horrible to him—I said things…”

“We all say things when we’re hurt, Madison. Love doesn’t have a time limit on it. It’s never too late to fight for what we want, both in love and our future.”

“So, what do I do?” I finally ask, realizing that she isn’t wrong.

“Why don’t you start with figuring out what you want to do with your life? And perhaps, give the situation with Jaxson another thought.Regardless of what’s happened between the two of you… you were both friends before anything. And I think fixing that may make you feel better.”

I nod my response, wiping the remaining tears from my face before letting out a heavy breath. The last thing I expected to do this morning was to have my day end with having this conversation with her. But, I’m honestly glad it happened.

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