Page 7 of Mistress of Hours

Chapter Four

“Evienne,” the womanglared down at her from a substantial height.

“Dominique.” Evienne felt the muscles of her shoulders tense and her breathing shallow immediately. She had no idea how she had ever felt anything but the physical need to run away in this woman’s presence.She was beautiful, but only in the way that a poisonous flower was beautiful.

“You really should watch where you are walking. It’s so unbecoming for someone of your rank to be so careless; what would Her Majesty think if she saw you bumbling around like this? What if I had been one of the visiting nobles that will be swarming this place in a few days?”

Evienne’s lips tightened into a thin line. In these moments, she could never think of what to say to put Dominique in her place; it was always hours later that the right retort would come to her. Thoughts of this encounter would plague her for days to come, if the past was any example.

“Just like you, not to have anything to say for yourself,” Dominique laughed derisively. “It’s really so sad,Vivi. You had so much potential. If you hadn’t left when you did, I certainly would have soon enough—it’s hard to watch you flounder,” Dominique spoke lightly, casually, despite her hateful words.Evienne couldn’t help the frown that curled her lips at her old nickname. She had always hated being called that.

This interaction seemed to be the sum of their relationship now. Evienne knew that it had been abuse, she had gotten out, had risen above, had become more herself than she had beenever before; but it still stopped her in her tracks every time Dominique stood before her.

“Excuse me,” Evienne said with more confidence than she felt as she stepped around Dominique to continue on her way. She didn’t want to dignify Dominique’s words with a real response.

She caught Dominique’s searing blue gaze for a split second as she brushed past, and it was filled with loathing and resentment. Dominique had always thought she knew what was best for Evienne. It was only when Evienne realized what was happening and started to reclaim herself that Dominique’slovefor Evienne had soured.

Evienne felt air pulling into her lungs, focused on evening out her breaths. Every second that passed, every step that took her away from Dominique, had her feeling more settled in herself.

It was three years ago now that Evienne had woken up one day realizing that she had made herself so small in Dominique’s presence, there was almost nothing left that was reallyher. That devastating revelation had been promptly followed by their separation.For better or worse, Evienne hadn’t waited around for more of her soul to wither.

Evienne fought against the tightness in her throat as she walked. She was embarrassed that Dominique still had this effect on her. She had learned not to accept this sort of treatment from anyone, but her spirit still shrank away from this woman as if she were a branding iron poised to further mar her sense of self.

Evienne supposed their coupling always had a sinister thread running through it, now that she was able to look back on it. Time was clarity’s greatest ally.

Dominique’s earliest moments of control had been less nefarious—posed as preferences, suggestions. She had punished Evienne with subtle signals of displeasure when she stepped out of line. Time had shown Dominique’s true colors, but by thenEvienne was so focused on meeting her expectations to keep her heart safe that she didn’t realize what was really happening. When she did notice it, it had been like waking up from a nightmare—sudden and disorienting.

The halls of the palace were bustling with people this morning. Everyone was preparing for the celebration. Evienne tried her best to avoid making eye contact with anyone; she wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone but Cecelia. She was trying desperately to cling to the person she was outside of that relationship, the person she had hammered and forged herself into these last three years.

Breathing in, locking down that version of herself that always surged to the front of her mind when Dominique was around, she focused on the scent of cloves on the air and the sharp clicking of her boots on the marble floor as she moved through the winding passages.

She was Evienne Elodie D’Auclaire, High Sangviere to the Court of Ichorna, and she would not allow anyone to make her feel small ever again.

These were the words she said over and over to herself when she felt her spirit wavering. Evienne knew who she was, who she wanted to be; but understanding who she had been helped her to be kind to herself in these fraught moments.

She pulled herself together as she wound her way through the dusty labyrinth that housed Ichorna’s rarest tomes. Cecelia was the head librarian in Ichorna—all of the province’s librarians reported to her in one way or another—so her study was here in the main library.

The study was warm and welcoming, just like Cecelia. A large, honey-colored sofa took up one side of the room while a massive oak desk dominated the other. Shelves of books were built into the walls, and light filtered in through the circular stained glasswindow across from the door. Its panes of yellow, orange, and red made the space feel like a flickering fire.

Cecelia herself sat curled with a book on the massive couch, her dark brown hair falling in a smooth curtain over the armrest. She looked up as Evienne entered, smiling as she laid eyes on her friend. Cecelia had the best smile, open and generous and always reaching her eyes.

“I’m so glad we could squeeze in one more cozy breakfast before the celebration,” Cecelia said as she righted herself on the couch and slipped a bookmark into the crease between the pages. She gestured to the tray on the low table in front of the couch as Evienne took her seat.Evienne decided then that she wouldn’t even mention her encounter with Dominique; it wasn’t worth their time to dwell on it.

The tray was full of pastries, tiny quiches, and, most importantly, a steaming pot of tea. Evienne poured Cecelia a cup and then one for herself before grabbing a buttery pastry filled with chocolate and settling back into the downy cushions of the couch.

“So, tell me about your week. It’s been a few days since we had time to catch up,” Cecelia sighed as she nestled further into the couch, cradling her cup of tea.

“I suppose my week has been alright. We dealt with a massive raid on Cambrie the other day, but I’m sure you already heard about that. Too close to the city for my comfort, but it seems that’s becoming a trend. There were so many of them. I feel there’s more I could be doing to find where these things are coming from. After all these years I should have figured it out.”

Cecelia worried her lip, her brow slightly furrowed as she studied her friend. “Evi, I’ve known you since we were girls, and no matter what the situation or how much you’ve run yourself ragged for those around you, youalwaysfeel there’s more you could be doing.”

“Well, that’s because there is,” Evienne stated matter-of-factly. Cecelia rolled her eyes.

“We’ve talked about this before. You’re worth more than what you can do for other people, the queens and all of Ichorna included. You are a great example for the other Sangviere, and you’ve worked so hard to earn every bit of success you’ve had. The queens see you not just as their advisor, but as their friend. You have to be kinder to yourself.”

Evienne realized she was grimacing without meaning to. Intellectually, she knew her friend was right. She would give anyone she cared about the same advice. But it just felt so much…saferto give people concrete reasons to keep her around. She supposed this feeling was a holdover from her marriage with Dominique, though she knew in her heart nothing she did, no value she could provide, would have made her emotionally safe in that situation.

Evienne sighed deeply, closing her eyes to let the steam from her tea roll over her face in soft waves. “I know you’re right—I really do. It’s just so uncomfortable to feel as confident as I seem to everyone else. I keep waiting for everyone to find out I’m secretly a fraud.”

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