A woman had appeared behind them. A barefoot beauty with caramel skin and no pants. And she had spotted Rosie.
She turned slowly back to Tate. It wasn’t the mystery woman who had her heart imploding. It wasn’t even the pained look on Tate’s face.
Rosie’s heart was breaking from the knowledge that she hadn’t made any progress at all. Two years of self-work and she still couldn’t trust her own judgment. This new version of herself built from broken pieces was still fragile. She’d never be strong enough to trust anyone. She’d never be fixed.
Her brokenness was proven as soon as Tate said her name and she shattered into a million pieces.
29
When Tate saw Rosie in his kitchen, his first thought was, I hope she didn’t see the tiny house.His contractor had followed her exterior design exactly. She’d surely recognize it, and then his surprise village in Seattle would be blown.
As she turned her attention from Maisie to him, Tate realized just how dumb he really was.
He had just landed in the eye of a shitstorm. One move and he’d be torn apart. Rosie would need an explanation about Maisie, a strange woman barefoot in his kitchen and in barely-there shorts covered by her long top. Rosie didn’t know he was just grabbing beverages for a break in a project meant forher, or that Maze was just a friend and always barefoot, even when it rained.
Rosie did not look ready to listen to explanations. She looked ready to cry. In his peripheral vision, he could see Maisie backing away. Then they were alone.
“Rosie.”
At the sound of her name, his brown-eyed girl shut down. He saw the change in her face and stance. Without moving, she was pulling away faster than he could follow. He reached for her, but she stepped back.
“Maisie is my neighbor from Washington. She and her brothers are here for the weekend.”
She nodded slowly. “Maisie. I remember. The woman you almost slept with.”
Unfortunate but true. “Yes.Almostslept with months ago, and haven’t touched since. Her brothers—”
“Got it. Her brothers are here, too.” She looked at him with dull eyes. The glacier in Tate’s gut bobbed. It was like she’d cut herself off from any emotion. “I don’t care why they’re here, or that they’re here. This is your house. Your life.”
Tate just stared at her. She didn’t even sound like his Rosie. Her singsong voice had no melody. Her tone was flat, like her expression.
“Rosie, you are the most important part of my life. More important than my family, more important than my company. I’ve told you before, I stopped wondering when I met you. I have wanted only you since we met. There’s no coming back from connection like ours.”
“For you, maybe.”
What did she mean, for him? Like she didn’t feel the same? Tate’s throat ached so badly he couldn’t get any words out.
She blinked a few times, face impassive. “You stopped wondering, Tate? I’ve never stopped. Since Chad, I’ve questioned everything. Know what I’ve learned? I’m untrustworthy. Unfit to judge for myself who I should let into my life. So, I don’t let anyone in. Until you. But even on my best days with you, especially on my best days, I’ve always wondered if I’m good enough.”
“What?” Her dark self-recrimination chilled his blood. “Rosie, you are more than enough. More than good. You’re genuine, kind to your core, the strongest person I’ve ever met. You’re everything I never knew I needed in a partner.”
She frowned. “This isn’t about you, Tate; about what you need. I need to focus on what I need, and I know now that what I need is to steer clear of people I can’t trust.”
When he took another step closer, she took another step back. She was almost in the hallway now.
“The hard part is, I don’t trust myself,” she said, voice straining. “How does one fixthat? I trusted Chad. We know how that turned out. I trusted my sister and she stole from me, my dad, and half the people on our block. I trusted you. Then you snuck around my office and won’t tell me why. You have a female houseguest who you neglected to mention, even though I’ve talked to you every day this week.”
She took another step closer to walking out of his house and his life. Tate’s jaw was clenched so tight he thought his teeth might crack.
“You’re right. What I’ve done is suspicious through that lens. But you know me. I’m in love with you, and you know it. I won’t hurt you, and you know it. We’re good together, and you know that, too. What youreallydon’t trust is your feelings. I know you’re afraid of what you’re giving up by trusting me, by loving me, but we’ll get through that together. Let me help you.”
“Stop,” she snapped. “How many times do I have to tell you this isn’t about you? You can’t fix us, because there is no us. And you can’t fix me. I am broken beyond repair. Chad broke me. He tookthisfrom me.” She gestured between them. “I don’t get to do relationships. Trust is too hard.”
“Hiding from me, from what you feel, won’t help you,” Tate pushed. “Deciding that you won’t trust anyone, including yourself, won’t heal you. You gain nothing by walking away. Like you said, you can’t run from a problem that’s inside.” He needed her to see that only by trusting someone over time would she finally heal. Her current reaction was fear, pure and simple. “Rosie, you are stronger than this.”
She shook her head. “I’m not. I’ve never been strong, or a man wouldn’t have broken me in the first place.” She raised her chin and squared her shoulders as Tate stared, bewildered. “I’m done hoping that I’ll learn to trust myself or anyone else. It’s over, Tate. We’re done.”
Tate chuckled joylessly at the conviction in her tone. “Guess what, Rosie? You don’t have any control over what other people think or do. You should know that after what you’ve gone through. You don’t get to tell me when we’re over. I’m not going to stop loving you just because you tell me you’re done, or that you aren’t worthy. I’m not going to stop waiting for you to walk through my door again. I’m not going to look for someone who’s a better partner, because there isn’t one. You can believe what you want, but to me, you are fucking perfect. We’re not over. We’ll never be over. Not while I’m still here loving you.”