* * *

Helen rushed up the stairs, and getting to her room, she threw herself on her bed before proceeding to scream out her frustration into her pillow.

She couldn’t believe she had said all that to Alexander. Everybody knew the man had his secrets, which he had every right to, and she hardly thought that calling him out in that way would cause him to be more open. It seemed rather likely that she might lose the little intimacy that they had achieved.

It was hard though to remain content with the little they shared, but she hoped she had not just demanded too much too soon. The man had a wealth of pain hiding behind a wall inside his heart, and every now and then she got a glimpse during his occasional outbursts.

She realized as she lay down that her problem was that she was not content with just glimpses of his pain. She wanted the full story, as that was the only way that she could understand who the magnificent man that her husband really was, and she wanted to know about the experiences that had molded him into the man he was at present.

But she knew better. She knew that picking at a person’s pain was hardly the way to endear yourself to them, and she truly hoped he didn’t completely shut her out. Her impulsive personality was at fault, and she just hoped she had not destroyed everything.

She was wallowing in her self-recriminating thoughts when she heard a knock at the door.

“Don’t bother, Rose. I will not be going on my walk anymore. You can take the day off,” she called out from her place on the bed.

She was definitely not going to enjoy a walk, with the way she felt at this point. She would prefer to stay indoors and nurse her wounds, thank you very much.

“Helen, please open the door,” the deep masculine voice that definitely did not belong to Rose responded, making her leap out of bed.

She tried to regain her composure and tried to rearrange her hair and straighten the side flattened from lying on it. She promptly gave up when a knock came again.

“Alex?” she asked in surprise, seeing him dressed in his shirt sleeves alone.

His shirt was open at the throat, revealing a span of bronzed skin for her appreciation. She was so lost in feasting her eyes on his sheer physical beauty that she almost did not catch his next words.

“I don’t think you need your maid. You are fine this way. I would like to take a stroll in the gardens with you,” he said, his eyebrow raised in question, his hand extended.

He didn’t appear to be angry with her, and maybe the morning air might serve to calm her chaotic mind.

Taking her hand, he smiled down at her and then led her into the gardens. The gardens in Blackhill were colorful in comparison with the morose nature of the castle. The gardens were obviously tended with care. The flowers were well tended, and hedges were sheared in perfect square. That told her something about the man beside her.

“Do you like flowers, Your Grace?” she asked tentatively

“Just as much as the next man, but I am not that attached to them. Why do you ask?”

“Your garden is quite beautiful and well-tended. I hypothesized that you must love flowers and nature.”

“Sorry to disappoint you, pet,” he said, chuckling, “but my mother was the flower lover and not me. This was her favorite place in the entire castle.”

His eyes turned introspective. Helen suspected he was seeing a completely different picture, probably a memory of his mother.

This was the first time he mentioned his parents. She offered the only comfort she could, rubbing his arm in consolation. At the feel of her touch, he smiled down at her, sadness lingering in his eyes.

“She sounds like she was a wonderful person,” Helen said softly.

Alexander answered with a rueful smile, “Indeed, she was.”

Of course, Sabrina was one of a kind. It was a pity she had the misfortune of marrying the abusive man who became his father, but that wasn’t her fault.

His parents’ marriage was one of convenience and mutual benefit. It was unfortunate that his father had managed to crush her fragile spirit.

The garden had been Sabrina’s only place of solace in the times when his father flew into one of his rages. She brought Alexander with her to the garden and taught him about the beauty of flowers and their stages of growth. The feel of the earth under his fingers quietened his mind in those moments of fear. Even now that he was grown, he still came to the gardens for solace and solitude, a break from the chaos of his daily life, and the garden always welcomed him like his mother’s hug.

This was the only way Alexander could keep his mother’s memory alive, and he was proud of this beauty. He preferred to enjoy it privately, but bringing Helen to his sanctuary was the first step towards greater intimacy with her.

He realized that she had gone way out of her comfort zone to make this marriage work. It was not easy for a woman to leave such a happy home to get married to a cynical shell of a man with more thorns than a rose. It was now time to make sacrifices for the sake of the delicate emotional intimacy they shared.

He guided her till they got to a clearing where he had set up the next step in his apology campaign, and her reaction made all the efforts seem justified.