Page 48 of Five Ways to Bed a Duke

“Do you never plan to be married?” she asked with her back to him.

His hands stilled as he tried to lace her dress, but then he cleared his throat and resumed his work.

“I do not,” he answered gruffly.

“Why?”

He sighed and dropped his hands. “Can we not talk about this?”

“Why not?” she asked stubbornly.

She already knew the outcome of their conversation, but she wanted to know more. It seemed she lived for the torture of hearing truths she didn’t want to hear.

“Because I never intend to marry anyone,” he spat angrily, not meeting her eyes. “For the sake of our friendship, I’ll ask you not to push this conversation.”

Catherine fell silent, but she knew that it was time to leave. She had long overstayed her welcome, and this would definitely be the last time she let herself toe this line of ruination with him again.

“Alright, I won’t,” she relented. “I will take my leave now. But, Richard… we can’t… I can’t go on like this. It’s too much…”

Her voice broke despite herself, but then she cleared he throat.

“Cathy…” He sighed, pulling her into his arms.

He kissed her long and deep, and she kissed him back, savoring the final kiss they’d ever share. If anything, she’d at least have the memories to sustain her.

“I understand,” he murmured against her lips.

Their foreheads were touching, and she could feel the tears well up in her eyes, but she didn’t let them fall.

“Thank you,” she said at last. “Your lessons have been more than helpful.”

“I should be thanking you too for helping with Emmy and for being a good student.” He laughed. “I do hope I’ll be getting an invitation to your wedding?”

“Of course, you will.”

“Then I wish you all the happiness in the world. God knows you deserve it.” He smiled. “May you marry the man who gives you all the stability and peace you desire.”

“Thank you, Richard,” she answered, even though her heart broke a little more.

She wondered how she could ever be happy knowing that she’d never experience such pleasure at his hands again. She couldn’t deny any longer that she had well and truly fallen for him, and he hadn’t caught her but let her heart fall to the ground.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself, though,” she admitted. “You have come to haunt my days and thoughts, and it will be hard forgetting everything that has happened between us.”

“Cathy, you will be just fine.” He sighed. “I will have a hard time forgetting you, too. You are the most remarkable woman I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. It will be hard, but this… feeling, whatever it may be, will pass. It will have to. It will be unfair of me to keep such memories when you will soon marry someone else.”

“But I don’t have to. We could?—”

“No, Cathy.” He shook his head. “I can’t do this to you. I can’t bring you into my world of uncertainty. You want love. You’re a loving woman. So open and giving. I am nothing but a selfish man who will use you for your body and ruin you. You deserve someone better, someone who can give you the future you want. The dream home in the country with your babies. I am not capable of giving you that.”

“You are capable of whatever you set your mind to, Richard.” She sighed. “You just have to believe it.”

Her words seemed to have struck a chord inside him, but she didn’t push it.

“Goodbye, Richard,” she said at last, stepping away from him. “Do tell Emmy I can no longer come to your house.”

“She has nothing to do with?—”

“I know.” She nodded. “But it will be easier for me to set aside these feelings if I don’t see you as often.”

---