Page 138 of Last Light

“Are you okay with us heading back to that house? We don’t have to go there. I just couldn’t think of anywhere else.”

“No. That sounds ’bout perfect to me. Nowhere’s gonna be as safe as that, especially with me in bad condition like this.”

“That’s what I thought. We don’t have to stay for long. Just until you get better. Then we can decide what we’ll do from there.”

“We can do whatever you want. Bein’ with you is all I could ask. I’ll be glad to do anythin’ that makes you happy.”

“That’s sweet, but I want to discuss it. I want to know what you want too. If you could do anything in the world, if I wasn’t a factor in any way, what would you do?”

“You’re always gonna be a factor for me. You have been since you held me at gunpoint over that motorcycle.”

“I wasn’t really a factor for you right at first.”

“Yeah, you were.” I frown and start to object, but he won’t let me. “I thought you were the bravest, prettiest thing I’d ever seen in my life, but I was scared for you.”

“I was okay.”

“I didn’t know that for sure. In this world? I was scared for you.” He drops his eyes and then raises them to meet mine again. “So I followed you.”

I gasp. “You did not!”

“Yeah, I did. It wasn’t easy ’cause I didn’t have a good vehicle, but I couldn’t stand the thought of you bein’ all alone in the world like it is now. What might happen to you. So I tracked you. Followed your trail. Why else do you think I happened to show up right where you were?”

“You said it was because we were taking the same route!”

His lips are twitching slightly, although his eyes are still sober. “And you believed me?”

I let out an indignant huff. “You big liar!”

He chuckles and reaches for my hand, bringing my knuckles to his lips and kissing them one by one. “Yes, I’m a big liar. But it just proves that you been a factor for me since the very beginning. And that’s never gonna change.”

I get momentarily distracted by sappiness, but I manage to pull myself together. “Maybe. But back to my original point. Pretend I decided to hook up with Mack and we didn’t want you around.” I giggle at his scowl. “What would you do then?”

He sighs. “I’d probably go back to that house. I liked it there. A lot. I’d take the dog if you’d let me have him, and I’d see if I could be part of that network Mack keeps talking about—helping folks who need it. I think I could do some good once I’m back on my feet, and it’d be better than sitting around with nothin’ to think about ’cept my broken heart over losin’ you. So that’s probably what I’d do.”

My eyes widen, and I squeeze myself in excitement. “Really? That’s what you’d do?”

“Y-yeah. Probably. Why?”

“Because that’s what I’d do too! That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking about. I loved that weird little house. I liked that we weren’t all crowded there, but I don’t think I want to be totally isolated forever. I don’t want to just hide away. I want to... help people if we can. So maybe Mack and Maria and whoever else is in that network could use us. Me and you. We could... do something good.”

Travis’s mouth is turning up at the corners. “That’s really what you want? You’re not just sayin’ it ’cause you think it’s what I wanna hear?”

“No! I mean it. It’s exactly what I want. I want to... I’ve been hunkered down since the asteroid hit. Like it’s all I can do to just survive every day. And I don’t want to be that way anymore. I think I’m only now realizing it after seeing how close you were to dying yesterday. I want to live. I wantusto live. Really live. I want to wake up with you in the mornings. I want to see if we can plant a garden and make a few things grow. I want to help people whenever we can. I want to make a few friends. I want to find every bird that’s still alive in the woods. I want to listen to the bugs at night and watch the sun set. I want to kiss you while we’re making love. I want to have a... have a baby with you.” I gulp as I realize what I’ve been babbling out without thinking. “I mean, if you want. And if we can.”

My hands are trembling as Travis stares at me speechlessly for a long moment. Then something breaks on his face. “Darlin’, I want that too.”

“You mean it?”

“Yeah. I mean it. I want all of it. I thought after Grace died that the part of my life that means something was over for good. But I was wrong. It’s not over. It’s somehow come back to life. And it happened because I found you. I want to live now. I want to really live with you.”

***

TWO DAYS LATER, TRAVIS, Mack, Anna, and I start east. Travis is still in a lot of pain, and he’s not moving very well, but he insists he’s ready to travel, and we don’t want to delay Mack and Anna any longer.

They’ve got a longer trip ahead of them than we do.

The trip is slow and hampered by our need to stay out of sight and our constant search for gas, but we reach our destination eventually.

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