Page 28 of Last Light

“Seriously? You could have taken it from me?” Not for a minute do I doubt his word. This man wouldn’t lie to me about something like that. “I thought I did okay. You backed off.”

“You did do okay. Like I said, you would’ve kept most people away from you.”

“But not you? If you’d wanted to get me, you could have.” I sigh and slump slightly. “What did I do wrong?”

“You relied on the gun. If your faith is in a gun, then you’re never gonna be able to always defend yourself.”

The words ring true, and I think about them for a long time. Eventually I ask, “Will you teach me? To do better? I know I’m small, but I don’t want to feel helpless. Will you show me?”

Travis turns his head, and both his gaze and his jaw soften. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll help you.”

***

SINCE WE’VE GOT SOmuch food, we stop for lunch in the middle of the day. We find a small clearing blocked by the woods and out of sight of the road, and we eat canned pears and tuna.

Travis walks into the trees afterward, and he’s gone for a while, so I assume he’s doing more than peeing. I putter about, rearranging some of our supplies.

After a few minutes, I hear him approaching. I smell him behind me. I close the compartment and am about to say something casual when I feel a hand grab my braids.

I gasp but can’t react when the hand uses my hair to pull me backward, and then an arm snakes around me from behind, tightening until my back is pressed against someone’s front.

It happens so fast that I’m terrified. I whimper and fight the hold.

I can’t get loose.

It’s Travis. Iknowit’s Travis. I can’t see him, but his smell is surrounding me.

My momentary panic transforms into outrage. “What the hell, Travis?”

“You said you wanted me to help you protect yourself.” His voice is gravelly and right at my ear.

“I do. But this is how you do it? You didn’t want to give me a little warning?”

“No. Your first lesson is to always be on guard.”

I wriggle, but he doesn’t let me go. He’s got me trapped against the front of his body in an iron grip. “But it wasyou. I didn’t think I needed to be on guard with you.”

“What if it wasn’t me? What if it was someone else coming up behind you?”

“I knew it was you.”

“No, you didn’t. Not for sure.”

“Yes, I did. I could smell you.”

“Everyone smells like me. No one’s got deodorant anymore.” His tone is different now, like he’s surprised, like he’s thinking things through.

“I know that. But not everyone smells the same. I recognize how you smell. I smelled you long before you reached me.” For no good reason I’m embarrassed by the confession. “I knew it was you. I didn’t think I needed to be on guard.”

“Okay.” His voice is odd. Thick but not with his normal gruffness. “I’ll trust you on that. But say someone takes you by surprise and grabs you like this. What do you do?”

His grip loosened as we talked, but now it tightens again. He’s got both my braids in one hand, and the other arm pins my arms down at my sides and traps my body against his.

I thrash against him, trying to slip his hold. In response, he lets go of my braids and wraps both arms around me, holding me even tighter.

I writhe hard.

It doesn’t work.

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