Page 38 of Last Light

I hold his hand for less than a minute. Then I let him go and reach for more candy.

I don’t want him to withdraw, so I search for something light to say to break the tension. “Did they make the kids dress up like Bible characters for the Hallelujah parties when you were a kid?”

“Oh yeah.” Travis sounds relaxed again. “I went as a shepherd every year so I could just wear a bathrobe.”

I giggle helplessly at the image and his dry tone.

“What ’bout you? What did you dress up as?”

I smile up at the ceiling and swallow my Skittles before I answer. “The last year I went, I dressed up as Esther. My grandma had this old... I don’t know what it was, a robe or nightgown or something. It was really fancy—green velvet with gold trim and this gorgeous beading. She got it on a trip somewhere, and I never saw her wear it. But it basically fit me, so I wore that with this shiny gold fabric over my head as a veil. I curled my hair around my face and wore dark eyeliner and lipstick.”

“I bet you looked real pretty.”

“I sure thought so. I was so proud of my gorgeousness.” I laugh softly, my eyes never leaving Travis’s relaxed face. “I don’t know what my grandparents were thinking. Letting me dress up as Esther. Fourteen years old and going to church dressed as a woman in a harem. But she was from the Bible, so it must be all right.”

Travis laughs too. A real laugh. And he’s smiling like I’ve never seen him before.

We still have more candy to eat.

And I’m happy.

For that moment, I’m happy.

***

IWAKE UP IN THE MIDDLEof the night, warm and cozy and surrounded by the smell of Travis.

I know immediately what happened, even before I open my eyes. When we went to bed, we were both under the covers but on opposite sides of the bed. But now I’m snuggled up against him.

I have a vague hope that he was the one who rolled over toward me, but I can see when I open my eyes that’s not what happened. We’re on his side of the bed. Which means I’m the one who scooted over to cuddle.

He’s sound asleep, breathing slow and loud. His armpit hair tickles my forehead.

If he wakes up to discover we’re tangled together like this, he’s not going to like it. As carefully as I can, I pull away.

His arm tightens around me, and he mumbles in his sleep.

I lie still until he relaxes, and then I try pulling away again. This time I succeed. I roll over to my half of the bed and curl up on my side, facing away from him.

It’s not as warm and cozy over here, but this is where I need to stay.

***

IT’S ALMOST MORNINGwhen I wake up next, and we’re snuggling again.

Travis is spooning me, the hard, hot lines of his body pressed against my back.

I open my eyes and realize we’re on my side of the bed this time, which means he’s the one who rolled.

I only have a few seconds to be relieved by that conclusion before I become conscious of something else.

Travis is hard.

Really hard.

His erection is poking into my bottom.

He’s wearing the sweatpants I found for him, so it’s not just a bulge in his jeans. I can feel the length of him pressing against me. I’m wearing nothing but thin, stretchy leggings, so I can feel everything.

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