Page 58 of Last Light

He’s not sweet.

But he’s good.

I know he’s good.

And the fact of his existence in the battered world we’re left with makes me believe that maybe I can be good too.

***

ISLEEP WELL AND WAKEup feeling pretty good. Travis looks a little more relaxed too as we wake up quietly and get ready to leave.

It makes me weirdly fluttery. That Travis is more relaxed now. That the sex helped him channel some of his tension. That he’s feeling better because we had it.

I kind of like the pang of soreness between my legs, the reminder of what we did last night.

The roads are quiet as we start off. This whole area has been completely deserted. From the earthquakes, I assume. But I try not to let down my guard—we still might run into trouble.

I relaxed before, and it didn’t turn out well.

We make the same slow progress as we have the past few days, trying to find routes around the worst of the earthquake damage and searching for gas. We stop in the middle of the day to stretch our legs and eat something.

Travis pulls pretty far off the road so the Jeep isn’t in sight of anyone who might pass by. There’s dead pastureland to one side of the road, but there’s woods to the other, and he’s able to hide the vehicle behind a few half-dead trees. We eat protein bars and walk into the woods for a bit since walking in the trees is safer than walking on the road.

After a few minutes, I spot something and grab his arm. “Travis, look!”

His eyes follow where I’m pointing.

It’s a cardinal. A male. Bright red and perched on a branch.

“Oh my God, Travis!” I’m whispering now and still clutching his arm. I don’t want to scare the bird away.

It’s been so long since I’ve seen one.

I glance over at Travis and see an excitement underlying his watchfulness.

He’s glad to see the bird too.

When the bird flies down to perch on a different, lower branch, I move to follow it, dragging Travis with me.

“Oh look.” I’ve got a better view now. “He’s eating those berries.”

“Elderberries. Can’t believe there’s any for him to eat.”

Wild plants haven’t been healthy enough to produce fruit for the past few years. But we’ve heard insects in the evenings. And there’s a cardinal now. Berries on the branches.

My eyes burn as I watch the small bird cautiously grab a few berries and dart up to a higher branch to eat them.

My hand is wrapped around Travis’s forearm tightly. He stands just as motionless as I do.

The bird eats a few more berries but then catches sight of us and flies away.

“We can eat elderberries,” Travis says in a normal voice now that the bird is already frightened away.

“Are they any good?”

“Not bad. Kind of tangy. They’re better sweetened in preserves or pies. But we can try ’em.”

We walk over, pick a few berries from the branches, and pop them in our mouth.

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