Page 62 of Last Light

“She was right. You’d be safer with them.”

“I don’t care. I’m safe enough with you. I want to go to Fort Knox. I want to find the rest of Meadows. They’re in danger. That’s what we planned, and I want to keep doing it. Why shouldn’t I?” I suddenly think of something that makes my stomach clench. “Did you want me to go with them?”

“What? Why would I?”

“I don’t know. Because you wouldn’t have to... to keep dealing with me. The burden would be off you.”

He scowls at me fiercely. “You’re not a burden. Told you. I wouldn’t’ve got this far without you.”

“Oh.”

We stare at each other.

“So you didn’t want me to go with them?”

“No. I didn’t.”

“Okay. Good. I didn’t want to go. So we’re fine.”

He doesn’t say anything. Just breathes heavily.

“We’re fine, right?”

He gives a jerky nod. “Yeah. We’re fine.”

I’m not sure why my stomach is all flutters as we walk back to where we left our Jeep.

Maria and the women could have taken it. Stripped it clean.

They didn’t. They left it for us. It gives me a strange sort of reassurance, knowing that they are who they are in this world. Even if I didn’t join them, I still know they’re there.

But even that reassurance doesn’t take away the flutters.

Those flutters are all about Travis.

***

WE STAY ON THE ROADuntil we reach the next town, but then we stop and study our map to find the best off-road route to take.

We have no reason not to believe Maria when she told us to stay off the roads. We’ve been lucky so far not to run into any droves or smaller but still dangerous groups of ruffians.

Part of that is because we’ve been careful. The worst sort tend to stick close to the cities where there’s a lot more food, fuel, and supplies to salvage. But we’ve also been fortunate, and neither of us sees any reason to press our luck.

It will take longer if we stay off-road, but if it’s safer, it will be worth it.

We plan our route for the rest of the afternoon. This region is mountainous, and we’re still in the areas that suffered from serious earthquakes. We decide to stick close to the wooded parts so we won’t be easily visible from a distance.

I have no idea where we’re going to spend the night.

There isn’t a town anywhere close to our route.

We can camp. It won’t be the end of the world.

But it means we won’t be able to have sex again.

I’m certain that Travis will never let down his guard enough to have sex if he doesn’t feel like we’re secure.

I remind myself that sex can’t be our priority. I haven’t lost that much of my perspective.

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